


Mac Gets Over Dennis

by EndlessRain



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Activism, BPD Dennis, Borderline Personality Disorder, Coming Out, Drugs, Eating Disorders, Episode: s12e10 Dennis' Double Life, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Out of the Closet Mac, Post-Season/Series 12, References to Drugs, Suicidal Thoughts, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2018-12-30 02:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12098550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndlessRain/pseuds/EndlessRain
Summary: The Gang had all been implying it for months, but not a single one of them had ever outright said it. Hell, right before Dennis left, Mac wasn’t really trying to hide it either. He had practically accepted this part of himself before he had accepted his gayness. Mac may have lived the majority of his adult life repressed and in denial, but he wasn’t stupid.





	1. Mac: Philadelphia's Newest Baby Gay

# [Friday, 3:15 PM]

“This guy looks promising,” Frank said.

# [Philadelphia, PA]

“Nah, I went on a date with him once. He talks waaaaaay too much about casinos. He didn’t ask me a single question about myself, which is rude, by the way,” Dee replied.

“Yeah well, we probably don’t want another gambler in the gang, anyway. It’ll throw off the balance.” Frank grunted.

“What about this guy?” Dee asks, pointing to one of the many generic headshots of men sprawled across the bar counter.

“Nah, he’s too handsome. Pass,” Frank grunted.

“He needs to be like, a really good leader. Like, he’s got to be able to take charge and stuff!” Charlie added.

“A leader?! Since when the hell was Dennis our leader? If anything I was the leader!” Frank replied, tearing the aforementioned photo in half. “I finance our shit, that makes me the leader.”

“Frank, that’s the worst logic I’ve ever heard in my goddamn life,” Dee snapped back. “Obviously I was the leader, although I would occasionally delegate some responsibilities to Dennis. Whoever the new Dennis should be, should be prepared to be my number two.”

“You?!” Charlie scoffed, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Dee, you weren’t the goddamn leader either! If anyone it was Dennis! But Dennis isn’t here now so we gotta pick a New Dennis, but you guys are taking way too long!” He stomped his feet up and down and shook his fists alongside his body, a usual Charlie temper-tantrum dance. “Just pick somebody, okay?!” He kicked at the bar to emphasize, only to yell out in pain and grab his foot in agony.

“Well Mac, whaddaya think? You’ve been awfully quiet in this whole thing,” Frank said, turning his attention to Mac, who had been sitting at one of the tables, grinning at his phone. Charlie and Dee turned the attention to Mac, raising their eyebrows.

“Mac, how long have you been sitting there? We’ve been going over these candidates for hours,” Dee shrilled.

Mac glanced up from his phone. “Huh? Were you guys talking to me?”

“YES!” Charlie shrieked, lifting up his leg to kick the bar again, but was calmly stopped by Dee. “We’ve been in this staff meeting since this morning, trying to figure out who the New Dennis is gonna be! I put fliers up in the bathroom about it! I even texted you about it!”

Mac furrowed his eyebrows. “Yeah, I got your badly written texts and saw your drawings in the bathroom. That’s why I’m here, in the meeting,” he said, gesturing around himself. In all honesty, he had been sitting quietly at the table, not contributing or really even paying attention. It didn’t surprise him that only Frank had been the only one who noticed that Mac was there. It may partially be because Dee and Charlie are too wrapped up in themselves to care, but mostly it was because of how stealthy and badass Mac can be. Hell, the only reason Frank even noticed that Mac was there, was because his old man bladder can’t handle a multiple-hour meeting, and he had to constantly sneak away to the bathroom.

“Well why haven’t you been participating?” Dee asked.

Mac shrugged. “I dunno. It’s just not grabbing me, y’know? Maybe I just don’t do this scheme.” He glanced back down at his phone, thumbs flying.

“Hey, you can’t skip out on schemes! That’s in the employee handbook,” Frank said, frowning.

“And this isn’t even a scheme! We’re trying to find the New Dennis,” Dee exclaimed, shaking a pile of head-shots. “You of all people should be concerned about this. You barely even leave your apartment anymore. Hey,” she added, a thought forming. “We could a Gay New Dennis, get you a little bit of side action.”

“No, we can’t have two gays, either,” Frank interjected. "That messes with the group dynamic."

Mac rolled his eyes. “First of all, that’s homophobic, Frank. Secondly, I don’t need a New Dennis. I just don’t care about it. Get a Gay Dennis, get a Black Dennis, or an Old Dennis, or a Rich Dennis or whatever. I don’t care.” Mac stood up, sliding his phone in his pocket. “Dennis moved to the mid-west to play parenthood, and that’s his choice. Obviously he didn’t need us, so why should we need him?” Mac huffed, shoving his chair back into the table. Mac hadn’t meant to be that honest, but sometimes the rage got the best of him. Whatever, he’ll use the extra energy later tonight when-

“And just where the hell do you think you’re going?” Frank said.

“I’m going out, Frank. I got a date.”

The green doors shut behind him, and the remaining members of the gang all looked at each other.

Dee snorted. “What, is he trying to bone his feelings away?”

Charlie nodded. “Apparently, dude. He’s like, so in love with Dennis, and he was definitely like really upset about it after he left.”

“I guess gay dudes move on fast," Frank mused.

 

 

 

 

 

Mac’s date with...David? Derek? Daniel. His name was Daniel, wasn’t even for another few hours, but hey, he was pretty bored with what was going off on the bar, and today was supposed to be his day off anyway. He tossed himself onto the couch, kicking his feet up. God, it really seemed like the Gang was just not handling the whole Dennis-leaving thing. What was their obsession with getting a New Dennis anyway? All Dennis ever did was yell at everyone, and fuck their girlfriends.

Wait, is that why Mac never really cared when Dennis stole his girlfriends? Because he’s gay? Huh. Everyday there’s something new that makes sense to Mac, ever since coming out. It turns out, not hating every bit of yourself,is pretty badass. For the most part, life really hadn’t changed since coming out. Charlie was still messing around the the sewers, Dee was still a bitch, and Frank was still losing his marbles.

One of the first people he told after the Gang, was his mom. While Bonnie was in the living room wailing about something with Charlie, Mac sat next to his mom, who was grimly enjoying a cigarette. She glanced up at him blankly, one of her more peppy greetings.

“So, thanks again for inviting me over to have lunch with you, mom,” Mac said, gesturing to the unopened box of pizza he had brought with him.

His mom ashed her cigarette.

“Uh, anyway, I mostly wanted to come over so I could talk to you about something. There’s been something weighing on my chest, for uh, y’know, quite a while now. But I don’t want it to change anything about our relationship, or how you see me, okay?”

His mom grunted.

“Okay well, here we go. I’m….I’m gay.”

For the first time since Mac had walked in, his mom actually made eye contact with him. “I know. ‘S why you’re so sensitive.”

Mac leapt up from his seat. “What? Whaddaya mean you already knew? I hid it so well for so long, and I’m so masculine and fit, and I don’t care about all that girly stuff that gay dudes like, and-”

“You’re overcompensating,” Mrs. Mac groaned.

Mac chose to ignore that comment, mostly because it was untrue.

That was a couple of months ago, before Dennis had even left. Now here he is, out to anyone that could listen, and it took a lot less fanfare than he expected. No one in his life seemed that surprised, or even really cared if he was gay. All of that self-hatred had been for nothing.

Mac glanced at the clock, and figured there was time to go to the gym before the date. As he shoved his date night clothes in his gym bag, he heard his phone buzz again. It’s probably the guy. Daniel. Fuck, he should really check to make sure the guy’s name really was Daniel.

Mac wasn’t really sure why this guy was so chatty, it was pretty obvious that they were just gonna meet up for a few drinks, and then go back to one of their apartments, bang, and then never see each other again.

He grabbed his phone off the bed (he had been sleeping in Dennis’ old room, lately) and unlocked it.

_Dennis: So I just bought this little shit shoes last month, and they already don’t fit him. Why the hell do babies even need shoes? They just make everyone carry them all the time, anyway._

Mac huffed a laugh, and shook his head. So it wasn’t the dude for tonight, it was Dennis. This was the first time that Mac had heard from him in weeks.

He had left two months ago, and they occasionally texted each other, but only in a superficial way. Dennis complained and vented about fatherhood, Mac would update Dennis on the gang. Mac was pretty sure that Dennis wasn’t texting the rest of the gang, but He quickly typed a response, before heading to the gym.

_Mac: Dude, why do babies need half the things people give them? That’s why we have such a pussy generation coming out into the world_.

 

________________________________

 

 

“So anyway, there we are, about to take a bow, and my friend Charlie comes down on like, a fuckin’ sunshine, and starts singing. None of us had any idea that this was comin’, you know?”

Daniel was leaning in towards Mac, twirling the straw in his drink. Mac realized that this guy probably didn’t really care about the _Nightman Cometh_ , and he probably didn’t even really care about Mac, but he was hot, muscular, and batting his eyelashes towards Mac so hey, he could do for the night. They were sitting in a corner of a bar, one far away from Paddy’s. The lights were dim, and some shitty pop song was blasting through the speakers.

“Ah, I bet you were pissed! Why’d he have the extra song?” He asked, moving his hand from under his chin, to Mac’s thigh.

Nerves were bursting through him, and he felt his stomach tighten excitedly, but he took a deep breath. He can do this. “Because he wanted to propose to a girl in the audience! He wrote the whole damn play, just to impress this girl he liked!” Mac exclaimed.

Daniel threw his head back, exploding with laughter. “For a fucking girl? No way. Did she at least say yes?”

Mac shook his head, beaming. “Nope. He’s been obsessed with this girl for years, and he somehow thought writing a whole musical would be how he’d win her over. She literally just laughed at him and walked out. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so sad.”

Daniel snorted. “Fucking straight people, am I right?” He gave Mac’s thigh a light squeeze, sending more sparks of nervous energy from Mac’s gut. That was another thing that Mac was learning about being gay; being around people you’re attracted to can make you fidgety and nervous.

“Wait, we can make fun of straight people? Isn’t that like….heterophobic or something?”

His date rolled his eyes. “Please. They’ve been treating us like shit for hundreds of years, I don’t think mocking their weird rituals is offensive, it’s a way to blow off steam.”

Mac nodded. “Interesting. I guess I never thought of it that way. Straight people are pretty weird.”

“So how does that story end?” Daniel asked, stretching his hand further up Mac’s leg, letting it rest on his hip. His entire body was faced towards Mac, and it overwhelmed him a little to have so much attention.

“What story?” Mac was too busy trying not to jump Daniel’s bones to keep track of their conversation.

“The one about the musical! Did they ever end up together?”

He scrunched his face up in confusion. “What? No. Charlie will probably never so much as kiss the woman. Although I’m not sure why he’s so obsessed with her, she’s not even that hot.”

Daniel blinked. “Oh, so you’re bi.” His hand still remained on Mac’s hip.

“What?”

“You just said she’s not hot. You date guys and girls? Not that that’s a bad thing,” he said quickly, waving his other hand. “My ex was bi, and he used to be married to a woman. I just didn’t realize you were.”

Mac was surprised. It wasn’t something he had really thought about. Dating both guys and girls? He had spent so long forcing himself to love women, and to not think about men, that he had never considered that it was possible to be attracted to both. He paused for a moment, thinking it over. “No, I don’t think I’m bi. I’m like 100% gay. I think I’m just really used to talking about women’s looks, because I used to talk about it all the time when I was in the closet,” he said, with clarity.

Ever since he accepted himself, it made thinking about his emotions and motivations easy.

Daniel’s eyebrows furrowed. “Mac, when did you come out?”

Mac knew that this guy was at least ten years younger than him, in fact, when they first started messaging over Grindr, he called Mac a “DILF,” which is something Mac’s never been called in his life. He seemed to think it was hilarious when Mac responded that he didn’t have children, but that was besides the point. This guy may be younger than Mac, but in gay experience, he was years older.

He ducked his head and tried not to blush. “Uh, about six months ago.”

Daniel burst out in laughter, slapping his hands over his mouth to stop himself.

Mac scowled, crossing his arms. It wasn’t funny, y’know? Some people just talk a little bit longer than others, and anyway, he didn’t know any other gay dudes, so how was he supposed to figure this stuff out alone? His date calmed down, taking both of Mac’s hands in his.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry babe. I didn’t mean to be rude. I was just really surprised, that’s all.”

Mac raised his eyebrows. “Why would you be surprised?”

“I dunno, you’re just so fucking hot, and you’ve got that gay biker look going on, I just assumed that you’ve been out of the closet since the 90’s. But nope, here you are, a little baby gay,” he kissed Mac’s hand, which should have annoyed Mac, because hello? He’s not a fucking princess. But all it did was make Mac want him more.

They somehow stumbled their way back to Mac’s apartment, kissing and giggling the whole way there. Mac hadn’t felt this exhilarated in years. It was his own apartment (although the lack of Dennis’ things was apparent), where he could bring back a hot guy and bang him, all he wanted, guilt free.

Daniel shoved Mac up against his door, pulling him in by his t-shirt. Mac kissed him back, wide-eyed and dopey. He had messed around with guys pretty often, but it still shocked him how amazing it could feel. Daniel was a big fan of taking control, something he made obvious long before they had met up in person. He had one hand forcefully holding on to Mac’s hip, shoving his body into his own, with his other hand up against the wall, holding himself up. He grinded into Mac’s body, as if they weren’t close enough to each other yet.

As Daniel worked to pull Mac’s pants down and free him from the jeans that were getting more and more tight, Mac glanced around his apartment. It was a little more clean with Dennis gone, he realized. There was no one to kick furniture around when they were pissed off. There was no one to bring home chicks that would leave their sweaters, shoes, bras, etc. around the house, that Mac would later have to throw away. Even the bar got into less shenanigans these days.

Honestly, everything was a hell of a lot more peaceful without Dennis.

Mac heard a thud, and when he opened his eyes, he found Daniel in between his legs, grinning. “Fuck,” Mac breathed, sliding a hand into Daniel’s hair to grip it.Mac had no idea how a person could look so in charge, while licking the head of a cock, but Daniel managed to do it flawlessly. He looked up at Mac arrogantly, as he slowly dragged the flat of his tongue against Mac’s dick.

He closed his eyes again, relaxing into Daniel’s touch as he started to close his mouth around Mac. Another thing he’s learned from banging dudes-guys know how to touch dicks waaaaay better than chicks do. Probably because they know what feels good, or whatever.

He found himself wondering what Dennis was up to. Probably took Brian Jr. to the park to pick up chicks. He knew that Dennis was crashing in a shitty one bedroom apartment, close enough to Mandy and Brian that he could easily see them all the time. The best part about North Dakota, is that there’s a whole new pool of chicks for Dennis to bang. Thousands of women who have never even heard of Dennis Reynolds, and were being DENNIS’ed at this very moment.

Maybe Dennis took home a beautiful girl from a bar, and is getting his dick sucked by her right now. Wouldn’t that be weird? If they were both banging someone at the same time? Dennis probably wasn’t half-falling over, like Mac was. He was probably taking control, standing confidently with his hands on his hips, as she sucks him off. Hell, Mac had seen all the tapes, he knew that Dennis took control in the bedroom. If he was being honest, he had used the tapes once or twice to get off, long before the apartment had burnt down, and much, much longer before Mac had come out.

His eyes flashed open as Daniel ripped away from him. He wiped his face with the back of his hand. He was still sitting on the floor, glaring up at him.

“Alright, obviously this is casual and everything, but could you at least remember my name?” Mac looked down at him dumbly, his pants still just below his ass.

“Excuse me?”

“Daniel. My name is fucking Daniel. Not Dennis,” he stood up and crossed his arms. “Can you really not remember a name as simple as Daniel?”

Mac’s jaw dropped. “I-I called you Dennis? No fucking way.”

“Who is he, like an ex or something?” Daniel asked. “I’m not offended or anything, it would just be nice if you could y’know….remember my name?”

Mac shook his head, pulling up his pants. “Nah, you must’ve misheard me. There’s no way I called you Dennis. That’s my best friend in the whole world, we’re blood brothers. That would be disgusting if I called you that,” he said, forcing out some laughter. “Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I want to fuck my best friend.”

Daniel shook his head. “Yeah? You weren’t thinking about him in slightest while I was going down on you?”

Mac couldn’t bring himself to answer, finding himself gaping at Daniel. His date smiled at him sadly.

“Oh hon, that’s almost sad.” He leaned over and kissed Mac, before making his way towards the door. “See ya later, Mac.” Mac was still standing against his bedroom door, shocked.


	2. Mac and Charlie Become Transgender Activists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Mac learn about the bullshit that trans people go through, and decide to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the warnings in the tags. Carmen appears in this chapter, as well as in future chapters. The Gang is generally pretty transphobic to her in the show, and while they are not overtly transphobic in this chapter, they still do make inappropriate off-handed comments because that's who they are. Additionally, there are some characters who spew some transphobic garbage, so please take care of your mental health, and avoid if that would be triggering to you. <3

“I dunno dude, that sounds like a terrible idea. Maybe we should just go back to the bar and call it a night.”

Charlie rolled his eyes. “Uh, okay, and walk straight back into the ghost’s layer? You’ve seen all the movies, whenever they go back after they’ve been chased out. They always end up dying.”

Mac stopped short. “Wait, are you basing everything we’re doing right now, from movies? Are you goddamn kidding me?”

Charlie snorted. “Well yeah Mac, they wouldn’t put it in a movie if it wasn’t true. Those like, _Paranormal Activity_ movies?”

The pair were standing in the middle of the sidewalk, arms full of bags from the magic shop at the mall. After the third time they heard wailing in the vent, and gusts of wind flew through the bar out of seemingly nowhere, the entire Gang was convinced. After a pleading phone call with Artemis on the phone, it was determined that Mac and Charlie would go get supplies from the magic shop. Mac really wasn’t into the whole scheme, and most of it felt pretty anti-Catholic and pagan, but it has been a while since he had gotten into some shenanigans with his friends.

“Charlie, those are fucking fictional. They just pretend that it’s footage someone found.”

His friend scrunched his nose in confusion, sighing. “Mac, just because you don’t understand the plot of the movie, doesn’t mean-”

“CHARLIE, I swear to God. Okay, why would they put the movies out, if all of that really happens? Think about it.”

Charlie opened his mouth to argue, but was interrupted by a voice behind them. “Oh, hey Mac!”

The pair whirled around to see a tall, blonde woman, holding hands with a small child. Her face was painted with little rectangles that were pink, blue, and white. The child was holding a little flag with the same strips, and was tugging on her arm. “I haven’t seen you in years. How’re you doing?”

Mac grinned. “Carmen! How’re you?”

She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Good! Uh, we’re just headed down to the rally. How are you guys?”

“Oh we’re good, just taking some stuff over to the bar,” Mac said, holding up the bags he was holding. “What kind of rally?”  
“The tanning rally, dude,” Charlie interjected. “There’s flyers for it all over our block. I guess like, people want to be able to tan whenever they want, and the government isn’t letting them.” He glanced at Carmen. “You’re pretty tan already though, I think you’ll be okay if the government bans tanning.”

Carmen and Mac both stared at Charlie.

“Charlie, do you mean a trans rally?” Carmen asked, trying to stifle a laugh. “Because yes, that’s what we’re going to. Nick couldn’t get out of work for it, but Patrick and I decided to go anyway,” she said, squeezing the little boy’s hand. That’s when Mac noticed that the child had a t-shirt that said “I LOVE MY TRANS MOM,” across it.

Lightbulb.

“Oh shit! That’s Dee’s baby!” Mac exclaimed. “Hey little buddy!”

Carmen rolled her eyes. “Yes, this is the child that Dee was the surrogate for. His name is Patrick.” He turned towards the child. “Patrick, this is Mac and Charlie, old friends of mine. Can you say hi?”

Patrick shyly waved, before burying his head into Carmen’s leg. Carmen laughed, giving her son a pat on the shoulder. “He gets a little nervous around strangers,” she explained.

“That’s alright Patrick, I do too, sometimes,” Mac said to the kid. To Carmen, he asked, “So what’s with the rally, then?”

Carmen sighed. “So, the last few years there’s been a whole thing about not wanting to let transgender people use the bathroom that corresponds with their identity. Well, there’s a Philadelphia councilman who’s been fighting to pass a law in Philly about it.”

Mac frowned. “What the hell? So like, you’d have to use the men’s room? That’s messed up, dude. You always used the women’s room whenever you’d be at Paddy’s.”

Carmen nodded. “Yep, I haven’t used the men’s room in decades. But some politicians think I’m just dressing up like a woman to creep on women in the bathroom.”

“People think you’d chop off your dick, just to creep on ladies in the bathroom? That seems like a lot of effort just to get your rocks off,” Charlie said, shaking his head.

“Kinda seems like bullshit to me,” Mac added. “They just want another reason to discriminate against us, and keep us oppressed!”

“Us?” Carmen asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, Mac’s gay now,” Charlie said, clapping him on the back. “Well, I guess he’s always been gay, but now he’s like, not lying about it all the time.”

Carmen smiled strangely. “Y’know, I always wondered about that.”

Mac wondered if Carmen was hurt, since they used to bang, and Mac found himself wanting to explain. He had always seen her as a woman, but back then he had was doing all sorts of things to try and seem straight. If Mac was being honest with himself (something he had gotten into the habit of doing lately), being with Carmen was one of his more confusing endeavors, because he really liked Carmen as a person. She was fun to hang out with, knew a lot about sports, and was really funny. And...she had a penis. Or uh, used to. But everything else about her was all woman, from her long hair to her soft skin. It was always pretty confusing for Mac, and then to throw in Dennis’ judgemental attitude about it, lead to Mac’s self sabotage with the relationship. He had always really regretted how he left things off, especially after she married Nick, and Mac went on his tirade about gay marriage. God, how he used to overcompensate.

“It’s just bullshit!” Charlie was saying, throwing his arms up in frustration. “This is America, since when are we telling people where they can take a piss? It’s like, y’know, ‘oh, sorry lady, you were born with a dick, so I guess you gotta pee with a bunch of smelly dudes!’” he said, apparently mocking the politicians. “What are they doing? Sitting around in their offices, all dressed up in their suits saying, ‘Let’s just make people hold their pee in! Let’s sit around and discuss people’s junk, and then call them the perverts, it’s bullshit!” WIth each sentence, Charlie’s voice got higher and higher, in typical Charlie fashion.

Carmen nodded, looking slightly impressed. “Yep, that’s pretty much what it is. Honestly Charlie, I always assumed you guys were pretty transphobic, but I gotta say, I think I misjudged you two. If you want, you could always tag along with us to the rally.”

Charlie and Mac ended up dumping their bags full of ghost fighting shit in a dumpster.

___________________________________

Mac was surprised about how many people were at this rally. There were everything from gangly teenagers with posterboard signs, to people in business clothes, to families like Carmen and Patrick. It was mostly made up of people make speeches and group chants, but they actually had a lot of fun. Charlie got really into it, yelling and cheering with the crowd. Mac wasn’t really sure if Charlie really understood everything that was going on, but he could understand bullshit when he saw it.

Patrick eventually warmed up to Mac and Charlie, even going as far as letting Mac scoop him up and put him on his shoulders so he could see better. Patrick leaned his chin on the top of Mac’s head, and he felt a sad warmth inside. Carmen snapped a picture of the two of them, and sent it to him. Of course, Mac instantly forwarded it to Dennis, adding that he ran into Carmen and Dee’s baby.

They went for pizza after, the kind of dinky place where the pizza is greasy, and the walls are covered in shitty arcade games.

“And that dude, well I guess they weren’t really a dude, that person,” Charlie said, correcting himself, “Who said that some people aren’t even guys are girls? Like you can just not have a gender at all! How badass is that?”

“Yeah, it is pretty badass,” Carmen said, beaming at him.

“Wanna race me?” Patrick asked, to which Charlie couldn’t refuse.

As Carmen watched the pair run off to play some knockoff version of Grand Theft Auto, she asked Mac, “So….when exactly did you come out?”

Mac sighed. “Only just this year. I’m still kind of uh, what did that guy call it? A baby gay.”

Carmen laughed. “Oh god. Yes you are. I’m surprised you ever even came out, in the first place.”

Mac tried not to be offended. “Hey, what is that supposed to mean?”

She pulled out a container of makeup wipes from her purse, the same kind that Dennis always bought, to be exact. She started wiping at the paint on her face, what Mac had learned was the trans flag. “Oh, you know what I mean. You were always so repressed.”

He sighed again. “Yeah, I guess that’s fair. But I want you to know that when we were together, it wasn’t because like...like I never saw you as a dude, y’know what I mean? I just wanted you to know that.”

Carmen smiled at him. “Oh please. Mac, I’m secure enough to understand that. I also know that when you were upset I married Nick, it was because of your own insecurities.”

She always seemed to know exactly what Mac was trying to say.

“Oh. Well, yeah, I guess I was pretty insecure back then. But now I’m doing awesome!” he said, a little too forcefully.

She raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Are you happy?”

Mac wasn’t sure if he’d ever been happy.

“Yeah, I think I am. I still work at Paddy’s, of course. And I’m still hanging out with these guys,” he said, nodding to Charlie. “But I think being out has made me happier. It feels nice not lying all the time, y’know?”

Carmen nodded. “Oh yeah. It takes a weight off of your chest.”

“Yeah! Like I was holding my breath and now I can breathe!” Mac exclaimed, running his hand through his hair.  
She flashed him a grin, balling up the makeup wipe and setting it on the table. “So, are you seeing anyone now?”

He shrugged. “Not really. I have a few dates here and there, but no one special, yet.”

She narrowed her eyes. “What about Dennis? I haven’t heard you mention him all day, and usually you talk about him none stop.”

Mac tossed his hand. “Oh, he’s off being a dad in North Dakota, with some lady he hooked up with,” he said, trying to seem as casual as possible.

“Oh.” She awkwardly took a sip of her drink.

“Yeah, and honestly, things have been way better since he left. Everyone fights less, we get into less trouble, and everyone can be themselves without Dennis making fun of them.” He crossed his arms, as if to say that’s it-that’s the whole truth and there’s no arguing.

Carmen reached out and squeezed his hand sympathetically. “Yikes. You got it bad.”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, it was bad when you and I were together, but that was over seven years ago. If you still feel that way after all this time, then God…” she trailed off, running her fingers through her hair.

“Feel what way?” Mac said, jutting out his jaw.

“Mac,” she said, her voice dripping with sympathy. “C’mon.”

He knew exactly what she was going to say. It was what everyone wanted to say to him, they just never had the guts to do it. The Gang had all been implying it for months, but not a single one of them had ever outright said it. Hell, right before Dennis left, Mac wasn’t really trying to hide it either. He had practically accepted this part of himself before he had accepted his gayness. Mac may have lived the majority of his adult life repressed and in denial, but he wasn’t stupid.

He rolled his eyes, and slammed his hand down on the table. “Fine. I’m into Dennis. Happy now?” A few people turned their heads to see what the commotion was, and Mac ducked his head in embarrassment, glancing over to make sure that Charlie wasn’t listening. He lowered his voice. “It’s not like it was really even a secret, but yeah, I have a thing for Dennis. I have for as long as I could remember. But he’s straight, and a thousand miles away. I’m just doing my best to get over it.”

“I don’t think he’s totally straight,” Carmen laughed. “But wow, yeah, I never thought I’d hear you say it. I was always pretty suspicious about you two, but I saw how close you two stood next to each other the day Patrick was born. You practically leaned into each other. Nick and I even talked about it a few days later, how orbited around each other the pair of you were. But Mac, Patrick is a 2nd grader now. You’re telling me nothing’s happened since then?”

Before Mac could answer, Charlie trotted up to the pair, with Patrick trailing behind him. “Guys, Patrick’s like, a really good driver. I think he might be like a child genius or something! We should really invest in this, Mac, like, get him on the Ellen Show or something.”

“And with that note,” Mac said, standing up. “We really should get going. We were supposed to do a whole thing with the Gang, y’know, there’s like a ghost in the bar…”

“Oh yeah, the ghost! See, it’s not a ghoul because ghouls can’t become invisible, you see,” Charlie started, before Mac nudged him into stopping.

“Oh, okay, well thanks for coming to the rally, you guys,” Carmen said, standing up as well. “It means a lot to me Mac, really.”

“We should get together sometime,” Mac said, giving her a hug. “Y’know, as friends.”

“Yeah we could continue our conversation, maybe?” Carmen asked, raising her eyebrows.

Mac scoffed. “Sure, we could do that. Or not. Or we could have normal conversations that aren’t uncomfortable or just plain unnecessary to have….?”

Carmen smiled. “Yeah, we could do that.”

As they were walking out of the pizza place, Mac glanced at his phone. Along with several messages from both Dee and Frank, upset that Charlie and Mac had ditched out on their plan, there was a text from a few hours ago- a reply to the picture Mac had sent Dennis.

_Dennis: Eh, my kid is cuter. I shouldn’t be surprised, I’m better at Dee than everything else we’ve both done, why wouldn’t making flawless humans be on that list as well?_

Mac chuckled before shooting back a reply.

_Mac: Dude, are you admitting that you love your kid? I mean, Brian is pretty cute and all, but you should’ve met Patrick. He’s a cool little dude. Total badass._

Dennis replied almost instantly, as if he was holding his phone, waiting for Mac’s response. A picture of Brian Jr, fast asleep and curled up in an Eagles blanket.

_Dennis: Oh yeah. Look at this fucker. Cute as hell. Way cuter than Dee’s spawn._

As Charlie and Mac turned to corner, they saw a group of people holding signs, gathering a crowd.

“Oh dude, you think they’re from the rally?” Mac asked.

“Well, they’re in the wrong place. The rally was that way,” Charlie replied. “Let’s go turn them around.”

As they approached closer, they could hear what the people were saying.

“-these MEN are trying to rape our wives and children, and these left-wing liberals are trying to give them permission to do it!” one of them was saying, waving around his hands.

Charlie frowned. “Wait, these guys are on the opposite side! They’re against Carmen!”

Mac balled his fists. “What’s with these guys? They don’t have anything better to do than to just stand in the streets and cause panic over nothing? What a bunch of assholes!”

“I’m getting so heated about this! We outta teach them a lesson!”

Before either of them could even think, both Mac and Charlie lunged at the counter-protesters, kicking and screaming. Mac definitely got a few good punches in before the cops tased him, and Charlie’s biting skills were put to good work. Apparently it’s illegal to assault someone, even if they are being dicks.


	3. Mac and Charlie's Prison Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac stood up, offended. “Uh, first of all, I’m a gay man. That makes me a minority. Minorities can’t really be racist against other minorities." He stuck his hands on his hips to really drive home his point.

They were stuffed in a cell at the police station, with about twenty other people.

Sometimes Mac wondered why his dad kept ending up in prison, because well, jail fucking sucks. The two of them had spent the night in jail before, usually for small things like drunk and disorderly, but this time was particularly horrendous. For one, a burly man who smelled like piss wouldn’t stop crying in a corner. Second, Charlie was more chatty than ever.

“Dude, I know it kinda sucks that we’re in jail and all, but now we get all this time to catch up! Like, when was the last time we had an adventure, just the two of us?” Charlie asked, jiggling his leg. God, did this kid ever stop moving?

Mac smiled. “God, you’re right. I mean, the only reason we were even the two that were out and about when we ran into Carmen, was because Frank didn’t feel like it, and Dee was too busy trying to get a hold of Artemis for the seance. Why don’t we hang out anymore?”

Charlie shrugged, frowning. “I dunno, I guess we’ve both been kinda busy lately.”

“With what? We work at the same bar. We see each other literally every day. How could we be too busy for our shenanigans?” Mac hadn’t really realized how long it had been, but looking back, it really had been a long time.

Charlie shrugged again, shuffling his feet.

Mac’s heart sank.

“It’s just like, I dunno, you’re like spending a lot of time away from the Gang, y’know? I’m really happy that you’re cool with being gay, and going on dates with lots of guys, but sometimes I really miss you, y’know?”

Mac opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a hooker puking next to them. Mac’s feet were in the splash zone, and she definitely got a chunk or two on his shoes. “Ugh!” Mac exclaimed, jumping up from the bench.

_____________________________

Dennis grabbed his keys, took his last sip of his coffee from his shitty “World’s Best Dad,” mug, and scooped up Brian Jr. He still had his kid for another three hours, and then he’d go back to Mandy’s. He got to have Brian for most afternoons while Mandy was at her job at the library, (god, if he was going to get someone pregnant, why did it have to be a fucking librarian?) then he had a few hours to himself before his shift at the bar he had managed to get a job at.

While every bit of his instincts told him to toss the kid in a playpen, crack open a beer, and to flip through cable until Brian went home, but here he was, taking the little shit to the park. Again. Originally, he told himself that he was going for the babes. I mean, come on, all those horny, single mothers, totally impressed with his great parenting skills. Who doesn’t love a single dad?

He only ended up using that to get laid, once. Somehow, it wasn’t that satisfying. Sure, she was good. Well, it was okay. But when it came to call her again, he just didn’t feel like it. Hell, he could have DENNIS’d the hell out of her, but he just wasn’t feeling up to it.

Maybe he was depressed.

Mac had somehow ran into Carmen, and was texting Dennis pictures of the kid Dee had popped out. The kids was cute alright, but Brian Jr. definitely was cuter. He almost felt a feeling of fatherly pride. It was almost humorous how proud Mac looked with that kid. If he squinted, Mac almost looked like a dad. Not that any of them really knew what that meant. If he were to be raising Brian Jr. the way that Frank raised them, he would’ve already emotionally tortured him by now. All Dennis had really done so far was bought him toys and taken him to the park.

He felt like he might have been bonding with the kid, but it was hard to even tell. What do you even talk about with kids? You can’t drink beer with them, you can’t check out chicks with them, and you can’t really even scheme with them. Older kids, maybe. When Brian gets to be about Abby’s age, he could probably plan some schemes with him, but now, he just hangs out and watches cartoons.

Brian Jr. toddled along next to him, slipping his hand into his. Dennis had never taught him to do that, so Mandy must’ve, but he felt strangly about the fact that Brian saw him as someone he could just slip his hand into; it was something that one only did when one was extremely close with another person. Now that Dennis thought about it, there was no one else he had held hands with before.

Dennis swung Brian up in the air, and the kid giggled as he ducked his head beneath him, placing him on his shoulders. He glanced at his phone. Mac had stopped replying to his texts, but that’s okay. He was probably busy protesting people being shitty to transgender people or whatever. Mac had said they were going to get pizza, but c’mon, how long does eating pizza take?

Whatever, he’d just make him feel bad for it later.

It wasn’t that hard to guilt trip Mac. He let Brian Jr. run around at the park for an hour or so before scooping him back up. Still no text from Mac.

_Dennis: If you’re still eating pizza, then we have a problem buddy. That’s a lot of fucking carbs._

_Dennis: I’m not there to help you lose weight again._

He took Brian past a small pond so he could look at the ducks. Brian was really into ducks these days, which, was weird, but fine.

“Duck!” he exclaimed, pointing gleefully at the small line of birds, grinning up at Dennis.

“Yeah, bud. Those are ducks,” Dennis agreed nodding his head.

Frank would’ve shoved him in the pond by now. But Dennis wasn’t Frank. Not that parenting is a competition, but Dennis is totally kicking Frank’s ass at this point. Being a parent is fucking easy, honestly. Brian Jr. grabbed onto Dennis’ hand again. God, he was always doing that.

_Dennis: So now Brian Jr. is obsessed with ducks. I swear to god, if I got the short end of the stuck and end up raising a Charlie, I’m going to be so mad._

Mac hadn’t replied in three hours. What, is he on a date or something? Although, that would be insane, right? Just because he’s out now doesn’t mean he’s any less of a failure at dating. He couldn’t hold a relationship when he was dating chicks, and he won’t be any better at it dating dudes. He was starting to feel that burning feeling in his brain. He usually only felt it right before screaming at someone or something.

He looked down at Brian Jr. and took a deep breath. He hadn’t exploded in front of him yet, and he was trying really hard not to. But this wouldn’t even be happening if Mac knew how to reply to a simple text.

_Dennis: Are you okay, bro?_

After they stared at the goddamn birds for a few minutes, Dennis took Brian back to his apartment. He shoved the rest of his shit into a backpack, glancing around his apartment to make sure that he had everything. He could only afford to get a place with one bedroom, so he couldn’t even give Brian Jr. his own room. It felt really temporary. He didn’t want it to be.

_Dennis: Okay, you better be fucking dead, dude. It’s been four hours._

_____________________________

“Look dude, I’m not saying we like, become actual racists. I’m just saying we join up to get some protection for ourselves. Everyone does it,” Mac said.

Charlie shook his head. “I dunno, I feel like we can find a gang that isn’t the Aryan Brotherhood. I don’t want any like, swastika tattoos or anything. That feels pretty racist to me.”

Mac stood up, offended. “Uh, first of all, I’m a gay man. That makes me a minority. Minorities can’t really be racist against other minorities." He stuck his hands on his hips to really drive home his point.

“Mac, I know you’re a gay man! Stop telling me you’re a gay man, dude, I know this. I’ve known this since we were like, sixteen, you don’t need to bring it up every time you want to win an argument!” Charlie said, his voice getting higher with each sentence. “And also like, you’re totally racist sometimes! Gay dudes can still be racist as hell!”

Mac rolled his eyes. “Charlie, I think you’re losing focus here. We need to join up or we are going to be totally boned here. You can’t just not be in a prison gang, that’s like the rules of prison. Who else is gonna protect us?”

“Technically, this isn’t prison. This is city jail,” a man from across the room interrupted. “All of us have been here like, three days, tops.”

Mac frowned. “Well still, we need to make sure that we won’t get jumped.”

“All of us can hear you,” the hooker who puked on Mac, said. “You’ve been in here with us all day, talking about the most random shit, and we can all hear you. And by the way, you can definitely still be racist, even if you are gay.”

“Okay lady, you were puking earlier, so I don’t think you can really judge us,” Charlie retorted. He looked back over at Mac. “But she’s right about the whole gay-racist thing. The two aren’t related.”

An older black man who was definitely homeless jumped in. “Yeah buddy, you’ve been saying offensive shit since you got in here. Just shut up.”

Mac opened his mouth to argue, when a cop started unlocked the cell.

“McDonald, Kelly, your bail was posted.” The boys jumped up from the bench.

“Ugh, finally, we’ve been waiting all goddamn day! Y’know, the judiciary system is really messed up these days if it takes you all day to let a few political activists out of jail,” Charlie said, lecturing the officer. “I’m a man of the law myself and-”

“ _GO!_ ” shouted about half the jail cell.

_____________________________________________

“You’re lucky I even bailed you out,” Frank grunted.

“Yeah, you guys totally abandoned us, yesterday,” Dee whined. She leaned against the bar, opening up a beer. “You left at 11 am, and we never heard from you again. What if the spirits in the bar did something while you were gone?”

“Dee, there’s no ghosts in the bar, okay?” Mac snapped back. “I already said that before we started this whole stupid scheme. This is a Catholic bar, we are protected by the Lord.”

“We left that early?” Charlie asked. “You didn’t pick us up until a whole day later? That’s kinda messed up, you guys.”

They were back at the bar, it was an entire day later, and everyone was cranky as hell. Frank didn’t bail them out until almost midnight, which means they spent about 10 hours sitting in that jail cell. They were lucky to have even made it that long, at least that’s what Mac had been telling them. Jail fucking sucks. They had all gone back to Paddy’s, in order to well, drink. It was the early hours of the morning at that point, and they were all pretty drunk.

“Look, it doesn’t matter now,” Mac said, waving his hands dismissively. “We got arrested for punching transphobes. That makes us political activists. People make entire careers out of that. We gotta find a way to keep this ball rolling.”

Frank raised his eyebrows. “You wanna hold a rally at the pub?”

Dee grinned. “Y’know, I’m so glad that we’re all starting to see my side of things. I’ve been wanting to stage a protest here for years.”

The guys rolled their eyes. Typical liberals, Mac thought, taking over and making things about their agenda. Just because Mac wanted Carmen to be able to pee wherever she wanted, didn’t mean he agreed with Dee on shit now.

“Yeah, protesting felt so good, but like, what should we protest?” Charlie asked. “The same thing we went to yesterday?”

Dee shook her head. “No, the best protests are the unique ones. If everyone is talking about what some politician is saying about one thing, we gotta get mad about something else that someone else said. It shows how woke we are.”

“Wait, so you’re saying we should like, not sleep for a bunch of days to protest people being shitty to Carmen?” Charlie asked, cocking his head.

Dee sighed. “No Charlie, ‘woke’. It’s what you’re called when you’re like, really aware and intelligent about current affairs. Like me,” she said proudly.

“If anything, I’m like the most woke,” Mac said. “I was the one that decided we should go to the rally in the first place.”

“Really? You’re the most woke, Mac?” Dee said, slamming down her beer. “You’re the one who has been arguing with me about religion and abortion for over a decade.”

“You can be pro-life and still be woke Dee!” Mac said, his volume at an absolute ten. “You’re such a goddamn bitch, Dee. I’m more woke than any of you!”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Then what should our protest be about?”

“It…” he trailed off. “We should do like….” he felt around in his pockets for his phone, before pulling it out. “Well let’s Google it, huh? We can make a whole list of things to be woke about.” He looked down at his phone. It was dead, which really, he should’ve expected, since he hadn’t charged it since yesterday morning, before he and Charlie went to buy a Ouija board. “Hey does anyone have a charger?”

Dee passed one over, and Mac plugged in his phone. He stared at his screen while he waited for it to turn back on, only to jump when it started vibrating furiously.

“Who the hell calls this early in the morning?” Frank asked.

“Nah, no one, I’m just getting all the texts I got when my phone was dead. It’s just kind of a lot.” Dennis’ name flashed over and over and he got text after text.

“Who texted you so much? Everyone you talk to is right here,” Dee said.

Mac flipped through all the texts, trying to read them quicker than they were arriving. “Hello? Who’s texting you?” Dee snapped. Mac stared at his phone for a few more moments, lip moving as he read through each one carefully.

“It’s Dennis. He was mad I stopped replying while I was in jail,” he said, his face completely expressionless, still looking down at his phone.

“What the hell?! Dennis has been texting you? He hasn’t been replying to anyone’s calls or texts! I’m pissed dude,” Charlie said, standing up and throwing his bar stool. He screamed in frustration. “Has he been texting you the whole time?” Mac nodded, face still expressionless.

“What? Is he mad because you weren’t paying attention to him?” Dee asked. “He would ignore everyone but you, that dick,” Dee snorted.

“He relapsed on crack,” Mac said, looking up from his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the hiatus. Senior year of college is kicking my ass, and I'm such a perfectionist. As always, my Sunny tumblr is balloonkidknewit


	4. Dennis Goes Off the Rails, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac flies to North Dakota to help Dennis get his shit together, and finds out just how depressed he's been.

“Y’know Mac, this is by far one of the shadiest things you’ve done,” Dee said, slurping down a soda.

“Me? I got punched in the fucking face! How is that shady?” Mac said, jaw dropping in disbelief.

“You sort of deserved it,” she shrugged. “We’re here, by the way.” Her “new,” car pulled up to the sidewalk of the airport. The sun was just going down, turning from a light grey to a darker sky. It was going to be cold as fuck in North Dakota, Mac only hoped the duster would be warm enough.

“What the hell did I do to deserve getting punched?”

She frowned.“No one had contact with Dennis! We all thought he was ignoring everyone, and it turns out, he was ignoring everyone but you. Of course we’re going to be mad! That’s very rude!”

Mac gasped dramatically. “Well, how was I supposed to know that he wasn’t talking to anyone else? I just assumed he was texting everyone as much as he was texting me.”

Dee stared at him in disbelief. “Really? We literally complained all the time about how much of a dick move it was that he left. We have a giant piece of shrapnel from the exploded Range Rover on the wall of the bar! None of us ever mentioned being in contact with him, so I don’t understand how you could think we were all talking with him.”

“Well, I’m simply not a mind reader,” Mac said, crossing his arms. “I need to go, Dee, my flight in forty minutes, and if I’m gonna make it to the bar before I get on board, I need to go.”

Dee rolled her eyes. “Go right ahead. Go stop my brother from ruining his life. Again.”

“He’s not ruining his life. His text just said he was smoking crack again. He relapses every couple of years anyway. Usually, with you, I might add.” Mac said raising his eyebrows.

“Are you goddamn kidding me?! There is no way you can place blame on me this time. If anything, his unresolved feelings for you are what caused his whole dramatic, move-to-the- mid-west thing.”

His heart stopped. He could feel his throat closing up and his palms get sweaty, pretty much exactly how he felt any time someone insinuated something going on between the pair of them. It had been happening for years. Dee used to make snide comments about the two of them being codependent in the past, but it hadn’t been such an elephant in the room until the last couple of years. Charlie would call Dennis “Mac’s husband,” or Frank would imply that they were late to the bar because they had been banging. Everything came to a halt when Mac finally came out of the closet. Suddenly Dennis pulled back, no longer interested in pairing up with Mac for schemes or movie nights.

Mac tried to talk about it with the Gang, but they all said that Dennis had known for years that Mac was gay. If he knew this whole time, then why was he cool with them being friends, before? Why did he only start being so far away after he came out? It was like Mac could finally breathe for the first time in his life, and then his best friend didn’t want to talk to him anymore.

….metaphors are hard, okay?

“Whatever, you’re a bird,” Mac said lamely.

“I gotta go. Thanks for the ride to the airport, bitch,” Mac said, getting out of the car and throwing his duffle over his shoulder.

__________________________________

Mac only had the address to Dennis’ place because as it turns out, Frank had been paying the rent this entire time. So much for being a responsible adult. As soon as he got the text from Dennis plan started circulating in his head. He needed to get to North Dakota, sober Dennis up, remind him of how much he misses Philly, and bring him back home. Of course, all of this involves Dennis not being such a stubborn asshole, for once, but everyone knows that’s an impossible element. But Mac just knew that if he could get Dennis back home, he’d be able to keep him safe.

The only time Dennis had ever relapsed on crack before had been with Dee, and Mac had all but told her that if that happened again because of her, he’d kick her ass. The elevator at Dennis’ apartment was broken, leaving Mac to huff and puff while he climbed five flights of stairs. The whole building was smelly, and more shitty than Charlie and Frank’s apartment. There were suspicious stains on the carpet. When he finally made it to Dennis’ door, he was a little bit sweaty. He nervously wiped his face.

“Hey, Dennis! Open up,” Mac called, pounding the door. He could hear a faint shuffling behind the door, but no answer. “Dennis, I can fucking hear you in there. It’s me, Mac. C’mon. Open up!” More shuffling.

“Dennis, if you don’t open the door, I’m gonna bash it in. Now I’m gonna count to three. One…” The door flew open.

“Jesus, Mac. Like you could even bash the door in, anyway. You’d just hurt yourself.” Dennis was standing before him, in all his gangly glory. His eyes were bloodshot, his face baggy and grey. He looked like he hadn’t been outside or eaten a meal in days; he probably hadn't. He sighed, and his shoulders slumped.

“Den, you look like a mess. When was the last time you ate?”

Dennis’ eyes darted away. “I can’t remember. Hey, look, did Frank send you with any money? I’m just a little short on rent and-”

“Can it, I already know Frank pays your rent. If you’re gonna lie, at least come up with a good excuse. Jeez, Dennis, where do you even get crack in the midwest?”

Mac snapped, shoving his way into the apartment. He tossed his bag on the ground, and glanced around the room. Generally, Dennis was a pretty neat guy. He was always the one bitching at Mac to pick up after himself, at the old apartment. At Dee’s, of course, they didn’t really care, but at their old place, Dennis always said it needed to look nice for any potential ladies that came over. Mac always knew he wasn’t actually concerned with how the women saw the apartment, it was hyperfixation.

This apartment, looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in days. Sure, there was remnants of the last time Dennis had cleaned, a broom shoved in a corner, there weren’t even that many dishes in the sink, but there were clothes thrown everywhere. The shades were drawn, and the TV was playing some sitcom on mute. Classic relapsed Dennis.

“What makes you think I’m on crack?” Dennis asked, scratching at his arm.

Mac rolled his eyes. “I don’t know, Dennis, maybe the crack pipe sitting on your couch? Maybe it’s how emaciated you look? Or the text you sent me, telling me all about your latest crack adventures?”

He sat on the couch, carefully picking up the pipe. “Where’s Brian Jr, huh? Thought you came here to be a dad?” Dennis’ face was blank as he shrugged. Mac wondered if he even remembered texting him. “He’s with Mandy. I was supposed to pick him up today, I think. What day is it? Thursday?”

“It’s Friday, dude. God, how could you get this fucked up, this quickly? I missed your texts all day Tuesday and Wednesday, then when I tried to call you, you don’t answer. I got here as soon as I could,” Mac said putting his face in his hands. Dennis was shaking at this point, so Mac shucked off his hoodie and shoved it at him.

“Put this on,” he growled. “I’m not cold,” Dennis snapped back, but he took the hoodie anyway. “I know that, you’re coming down. Do you still have any left?”

“Why, do you wanna smoke some with me?” Dennis asked, a little bit of light appearing in his eyes. Mac huffed a laugh, cold.

“You know I don’t. I came here to help you.” Although, if Mac had been honest with himself, he’d always wanted to understand what made Dennis throw everything away every couple of years. When Dennis got like this, it was hard to remember that crack wasn’t the only thing he cared about.

“I don’t need your fucking help,” Dennis sniffed. “I was just mad that you were ignoring me.”

“So you started smoking crack again?” Mac said, raising an eyebrow.

“No!” Dennis snapped, throwing Mac’s hoodie on the floor. “I smoked crack because I fucking like to. And that’s none of your business, by the way.”

Mac carefully picked up the pipe, sitting next to him. He twisted it in his hand, looking at the mucky brown and yellow resin inside the base. It could be so easy, to go find more crack. If Dennis found it once (or however many times, since Tuesday) then they could easily find it again. Along with Frank handing over the plane ticket and Dennis’ next rent check, Mac had swiped a few hundred dollars from his wallet when he wasn’t looking. Mac could smoke with him, and understand what it was like to want to ruin your life over and over.

“Mac, hand that to me,” Dennis said, crossing the room to the window. He stuck his hand in the closed blinds, pushing them apart to glance nervously out the window.

“Hand what to you?” Mac asked, lifting his leg slightly to tuck the pipe away. Dennis moved away from the blinds, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“Mac, you know exactly what. C’mon.”

“Nope.” Dear God, if he could just get him distracted enough… Dennis’ nostrils flared.

“Mac, you fucking asshole, I need you to just hand that to me. I don’t trust you with it. You’ll break it.”

“I don’t have anything!” Mac said, a little too defensively. Before he could insist again that he had nothing, Dennis flew across the room, yelling maniacally. It wasn’t the first time Dennis had physically assaulted Mac, hell, it wasn’t going to be the last. He tried to block Dennis from smashing into him by lifting his arm in front of his face, not exactly his most masculine start to a fight. He pushed the man off of him, with a grunt.

“Dude, I’m not doing this,” he shouted. Dennis stumbled back.

“Fuck off, Mac,” before attempting to fight him again, by swinging his fist. Usually, Dennis could hold his own in a fight against Mac, but he could tell that Dennis was too tired to really do anything substantial. Mac grabbed Dennis’ arm as he tried to punch him, and twisted his wrist.

“Ow, let go!” Dennis wailed.

“Will you stop trying to hit me?!” Mac demanded back. “I came here to help you get sober, not get beat up. Look, you obviously haven’t eaten in days, you’re all cracked out, and you’re being erratic. Knock it off.”

Dennis sighed, and nodded, lips tightly pursed. “Fine.” Mac gently let go off his wrist.

“Okay.” Dennis dramatically inspected his wrist, rubbing it and groaning in pain. Mac was incredibly strong, but he was going easy on the guy. He shook it off, before throwing another fist at Mac. This time, he actually managed to hit Mac’s jaw, but not hard enough to really hurt him.

“There, I got you, you dick…” Dennis said, trailing off. His eyelids fluttered. Mac’s eyebrows furrowed, as he rubbed his jaw.

“Dennis, are you okay?”

“Of course I am!” Dennis roared, puffing out his chest.

“I am a fantastic creature, who can survive days without…” he swayed, before collapsing forward.

“Shit!” Mac yelped, jumping forward to grab Dennis. He grabbed him by the shoulders, and led him to the couch to lie back down.

_________________________________

Dennis woke up with a splitting headache. He felt like he had the fucking flu, a hangover, and like he had been hit by a bus, all in one. And he’s experienced all three of those, so he would know. It was dark in his room, and he felt gross and sweaty. Fuck, when was the last time he showered? Or changed his clothes? Goddamn, what day was it?

It was late afternoon, based off the warm light peeking in through the blinds. He felt around for his phone in his bed. Where the hell was it… Last thing he remembered was watching Thundergun Express while sucking down his pipe like it was his last will to live. Maybe it was.

He must’ve just passed out after a while, like he had been the last couple of days. Which reminded him… He crawled out of bed and trailed into the living room, rubbing his face. Jesus, he needed to shave. How did he let such a gorgeous face get so gross? If he wasn’t going to treat his body like the temple it was, he might as well shove more crack into it. Maybe this time he could just ride this bender to the end. He stopped short in the living room.

“What the hell’re you doing here?” he snapped. Mac glanced up from his phone. He was sitting comfortably on the couch, the TV quietly playing in the background. His hair was wet, like he had showered recently, and he was clean shaven. Dennis could even smell a faint whiff of his cologne, the one that Mac liked to drench himself in. He had a gross looking black eye, and Dennis was never more relieved to see a person in his life. Mac grinned when he saw Dennis.

“Hey sleepyhead! God, you’ve been asleep for like, 14 hours. When we the last time you even laid in that bed?” Dennis shrugged.

“None of your damn business.” Mac nodded.

“Fair enough. Hey, dude. You should really shower.”

“Fuck you,” Dennis said cheerfully. Mac and Dennis sat side-by-side. Dennis wearily glanced at Mac.

“So...did I give you that shiner?” Mac scoffed. “No? I already had this when I showed up here, asshole.”

“How should I know? I’ve been asleep all day, remember?” Mac’s jaw dropped, his eyes screwed tight.

“What are you talking about? I’ve been here for three days! Don’t you remember?” He glanced around the apartment. It was cleaner than he last remembered, and it looks like Mac had been folding a pile of laundry before he had walked in. Mac always sucked at folding clothes; he just haphazardly balled things up flattened them, as if they were folded. A duffel bag was leaning up against the wall, and the duster was hanging over the kitchen chair. Mac had been here for a while. He shook his head.

“No...I mean, I kinda knew you were here, but I don’t really remember how you got here. Wait, who gave you the black eye, then?”

“Charlie. When he found out you had been texting me this entire time. If I had known I was the only person you were in contact with in Philly, I would have been a little more subtle about it,” Mac said, almost proudly. “The Gang thought you had been ignoring me this entire time too, and were pretty pissed to find out that you weren’t.”

Dennis blinked, slowly. Was that true? Had he only been texting Mac? He had left Philadelphia with the mindset of starting over, becoming a responsible adult with a kid, not a lonely asshole who owns a bar. Fuck, he could really use a hit right about now. He glanced around his apartment. It was cleaner than it had been, the last time he was conscious. He stalked into the kitchen and started shuffling through the drawers. There’s no way that Mac had been there for three days. He would’ve remembered that.

“Den...do you really not remember me being here the last few days?” Mac called from the living room, his eyebrows furrowed.

Well goddammit, had he said that out loud? “Yes, you did. Are you feeling okay?” Mac stood up, coming up behind him, reaching an arm out to him. Dennis swayed. The room felt hot.

“Can you maybe turn down the goddamn heat? You can’t just show up to people’s houses and blast the heat. Are you gonna pay the energy bill?”

“I didn’t turn up the heat, dude. It’s the same it’s been the entire time I’ve been here. Hey-maybe you should lay down, you’re looking a little pale…”

Dennis felt the room spinning, and he tilted back, eyes fluttering. He hated looking weak, especially in front of Mac. Mac supported him up, slipping an arm around his waist.

“Okay, you need to get back to bed. Or something to eat. Maybe both.”

He dragged Dennis back to the living room, maneuvering him to the couch. Dennis relaxed into the couch for a moment, before lurching back up again.

“Den, sit down! You need to chill.”

“I need the fucking crack you hid!” Dennis bellowed. “I’m so goddamn tired of you trying to tell me what to do, like I’m some commoner! You’re a fucking speck of dust in the wind and I am an eternal god!”

“I flushed the crack! All of it!” Mac yelled back, throwing his hands in the air. “I always do! I know all of your hiding spots!”

Dennis sneered. “You don’t know all of them. You’re too stupid to figure out my good hiding spots!”

Mac shook his head. “Why do you do that? Why are you being so shitty when I’m just trying to help you?” His voice was calm, disappointed. He sat down putting his face in his hands. “God, why do I even bother with you, Dennis? I’ve been nothing but nice to you for over two decades, and all it does it get me yelled at, berated, and treated like shit!”

Dennis crossed his arms. “No one made you be my friend, Mac. That was all you.”

It wasn’t entirely true, Dennis spent most of their friendship manipulating not only Mac, but everyone else around them. However, a less lovesick person would’ve left him by now. He knew that Mac was in love with him. He’d known that for years, actually. Even in high school, when Mac would give him the best deals on weed for no reason other than he wanted to, Dennis knew he had feelings for him. It lead to Mac being his personal punching bag, sometimes, and he wasn’t proud of it, but that was the way it was.

“When did you stop taking your meds?”

Dennis snapped his attention back to Mac.

“How the fuck did you know that?” He walked back into his room, with Mac trailing behind him.

“I know everything about you, dude,” Mac said, sitting on his bed. “I also know you’re a lot more likely to relapse when you’re off of them. What the hell happened, I thought you said you got a doctor here?” Dennis cringed. He hated talking about his mental health. A guy like him, he should be able to handle anything, but he can’t even get his brain to function. Mac brought it up more than most, probably out of concern. It didn’t make him feel much better. He sat next to Mac, shoving his toes under the blankets.

“I fucked up,” he admitted.

“Yep,” Mac agreed.”

“I hate it here, dude. I hate the people, I hate that even in the largest city here, it still feels like a small town. I love Brian Jr., but I don’t think I love anything else.” Mac nodded. “That’s okay, man. You’re gonna be alright.”

“Mandy’s never gonna let me see him again,” Dennis said, emotionless. “I was supposed to go pick him up days ago, and I never showed up.”

Mac’s eyes brightened. “No way, dude! I already took care of it! I found her phone number in your phone, told you had like, a nasty virus, and you didn’t want to get Brian sick. I told her you were so sick you couldn’t even pick a phone to call her, and she totally bought it! She even asked me if she could bring you anything, but I told her that I was takin’ good care of you.” He beamed proudly at Dennis. “She has no idea anything is wrong at all.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god. I don’t wanna lose him.” He curled in himself, before covering his entire body with the comforter.

"You won't dude, I'll help you get your shit together," Mac said, patting his arm.

Dennis leaned into the touch, feeling comfort from the warmth of the hand. Good old Mac, always right there when you needed him. He wasn't sure how long Mac was saying, and God knows he wasn't going to ask, but Dennis was going to revel in every moment he was here, while he could. 

 


	5. Charlie's Banging Dee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “DID YOU GUYS BANG?” Charlie screeched, making Mac jump a little.

A familiar melodic tune began playing, interrupting the comfortable half-asleep darkness Mac had previously been floating in. He forced his eyes open. He was soooo comfortable, he really didn’t want to have to move. He was laying on his side, leaning completely up against Dennis. A possessive arm pulled Mac close to Dennis, their ankles intertwined.

Holy shit. They were spooning.

The overly cheerful music droned on and he glanced around the room, careful not to move from Dennis’ arms. He grabbed his phone, lying innocently on the nightstand next to the bed. There’s the culprit. He unlocked the screen and grunted into the phone.

_“Dude, what’s goin’ on? You texted us that you got to Dennis’ a week ago, then radio silence. Is he okay? Are you bringing him back?”_

Mac groaned, fumbling to turn the volume down on his phone.

“Charlie, this shit takes time. I don’t even know if he wants to come back, and if he doesn’t, I’m not going to force him to.”

_“What?! I thought that was the whole point of you flying over there was to like, convince him to come back home. Tell him how much we need him, or whatever.”_

“Are you kidding me, Charlie? You guys were trying to pick out a New Dennis just a few weeks ago! Now you’re acting like you missed him?” Mac hissed, trying to remain as still as possible.

It wasn’t entirely fair, Mac knew that they missed Dennis. Dee brought up how much of a dick move it was that Dennis left, but would often get misty-eyed during her rants. Charlie put a picture of Dennis near the door with a sign that said “LET MAN IN BAR? NO! BASTARD MAN BANNED,” in his childlike handwriting. Frank was getting more and more lost in his brain each day, but he still mentioned from time-to-time how much fun they had when Dennis was around.

 _“Shut up dude, obviously I miss the guy. We’re going nuts here without the both of you!”_ Charlie snapped, his voice getting more and more high pitched.

“Charlie, shhh! I don’t want you wake up Dennis,” Mac said, glancing over his shoulder at the sleeping man behind him. Dennis shifted his hips, pressing his hard cock up against Mac’s ass. Jesus Dennis, how is this a good time to get morning wood? Mac choked, trying not to make a sound or give Charlie the impression that anything was wrong. His own dick had already started to take an interest in what was going on, despite Mac practically begging it to stop.

_“So? Just go into a different room.”_

Why was it that when he was in the closet, he could get inconvenient boners all the time, and just tell himself that it was because it was warm outside, or because he was all worked up, or because it was morning, or whatever other excuse he had, but the moment he came out, it was harder to justify them as random. Fuck. “We’re uh, laying next to each other,” Mac admitted.

 _“DID YOU GUYS BANG?”_ Charlie screeched, making Mac jump a little.

Dennis stirred, and Mac panickedly looked over his shoulder, but he didn’t wake. “Shh… Charlie, shut the hell up! This is the first night he’s slept all the way through without throwing up. I want him to rest a little bit longer,” Mac said, looking over at the sleeping man again. His dick was still pressing up against Mac.

Fuck, it was hard to keep a conversation going when something like this was happening. Dennis always looked so fuckin’ peaceful when he was sleeping. All the worry lines relaxed, his face looking neutral. Not neutral like when he was emotionless-something that Mac eventually realized was another symptom, not a personality trait. He knew it wasn’t healthy, but part of why he stayed in Dennis’ life so long, was that he tried to separate symptoms from his actual personality. It wasn’t Dennis screaming at him, it was a symptom, and so on.

“ _So you’re not banging?_ ” Charlie asked, sounding skeptical.

“Not even a little bit,” Mac said, dragging his ass up against Dennis. Dennis let out a soft moan, and curled his arm around Mac, rubbing gentle circles on his hip bone with his thumb. Mac bit his lip, trying really hard to not throw his phone across the room and jump Dennis’ bones.

 _“So when did you stop? Like, have you guys just not since you got there? You guys were doing it for years before he left?”_ Charlie asked.

Mac choked. “Excuse me?”

_“Yeah, you guys were banging all the time, when you guys were in Philly. It was kind of a lot, honestly. How do you guys still need to bang that much after all this time?”_

He felt his face go hot, like a child caught stealing candy. “That’s-that’s not true, dude. I don’t even know where you got such a crazy idea,” Mac protested. Dennis yawned behind him, and smacked his lips. God, he really was out like a baby. He nuzzled into the back of Mac’s neck, drawing up goosebumps on his skin.

_“From like everywhere, dude! Everyone knows it, dude. You guys constantly sneak away to go jerk off together, it was gross.”_

“Charlie, I gotta go,” Mac said, hanging up his phone.

 _"Wait! When are you coming b-!”_ He let his phone fall from his hand, landing on the carpet with a thud. He sighed, wearily rubbing his eyes.

“Jesus…” he muttered, turning on his back. He thought it might help to not have his ass up against Dennis’ still hard cock, but it only lead to Dennis snuggling into Mac’s thigh. Dennis wrapped his arm around Mac’s chest, leaving a comfortable open palm on his chest. He sighed, in almost a happy tone. Mac felt himself get choked up. He shouldn’t let himself get this attached. Sharing a bed, that’s one thing, but getting this intimate was a whole different ball game. Hell, Dennis was less than a week off crack, he’s never himself this early into sobriety.

He let his arm pull Dennis in, leaving a comfortable hand on his bony hip. The hardness against his thigh moved up and down, so slowly that Mac didn’t even notice at first. It took him a moment to realize that Dennis was grinding up against him. It would be so easy to just drag Dennis on top of him. Man-handle him so that they could just sleepily grind into each other, maybe even more. It was like the beginning of every dream Mac had ever had about Dennis, since the 9th grade. If his hand was free he’s pinch himself.

“Good morning, Mac.”

He froze. Dennis was awake. Adrenaline shot through him, like he just tripped and caught himself. It was the same panicky feeling he used to get when people would imply he was gay, or when a cute guy would bat his eyes at him. “H-hey, Den,” Mac breathed. He tensed up under Dennis’ touch, as the other man snuggled into him like a puppy.

“What’s wrong?” He purred, eyes still closed.

“Nothin’,” Mac muttered. He shouldn't let himself enjoy this. It’s stupid. He tried so goddamn hard before, y’know? Giving Dennis that RPG for Valentine’s Day, trying to get him to take his medication and go to therapy, the grand gesture of rebuilding the entire apartment exactly the same….he had tried. Before he had left, Mac was so sure they were about to sit down and have a Talk about their relationship, and what it even was, and then Dennis just left.

Mac had duped himself. He made himself think, over the course of the last few years, that Dennis was madly in love with him, and that they were going to move into the old/new apartment and be together forever. It was ridiculous. He didn’t come here with those ideas, of course. He came here to get Dennis sober and to make sure he didn’t lose his fucking kid. Dennis sleepily tucked his nose into Mac’s neck. “You smell good,” he muttered.

“Yeah, because I’ve been using your shampoo and soap, dude,” Mac grunted. Each movement sent chills down his spine. They had shared a bed hundreds of times over the years. Drunken blackouts after a weekend of binging. Movie nights that turned into mutual jerk-off sessions. Even the occasional nights where Mac would just wake up to a sleeping Dennis, lying next to him. This was much more intimate than all of those nights. Dennis was still grinding into the side of Mac, like a fucking teenager. Mac turned so that he was facing his friend. “Dude, what are you doing?” Dennis’ eyelids were low, and he smiled at Mac like he was his next meal.

“I just want to take care of you, Mac. Make you feel good,” he said, reaching to the band of Mac’s sweatpants. “C’mere…”

“Dude, stop it,” Mac said, smacking his hand.

After all this time, all these years of Dennis pushing Mac away, and now this? He didn’t understand. Dennis smirked, before pushing Mac back into the bed, and kissing him. It was softer than Mac had ever imagined, and now wasn’t really the time to pretend like he hadn’t ever imagined this. It was gentle, like they had kissed a million times before. If only Dennis meant it. Mac shoved him off, wiping his mouth.

“I told you to stop, dude. It’s not funny.”

Dennis frowned. “What’s wrong?” He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “I thought this was what you wanted?”

“What are you talking about?” “Me!” Dennis snapped. “Don’t you want me? Isn’t that why you came all the way out here? To rescue me from myself, so I’d fall in love with you? Well c’mon Mac, I’m right here!” He balled his fists in the blankets angrily. “You’re out now, there’s nothing stopping you from seducing me!”

He stared at Dennis. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

“What else would you be doing?” Dennis spat. “Why else would you even bother with me, still?”

All week Mac had been dutifully helping Dennis through withdrawals. He brought him water every time he puked, he wiped the sweat off his forehead, he distracted him whenever things hurt...he did everything for him, the same as he does every time Dennis relapses. Not once, had he thought about how it would make Dennis fall in love with him. He did it because Dennis needed someone to take care of him, and that person always happened to be him.

“Not everyone who helps you is doing it to manipulate you, Dennis. Jesus Christ,” he said, shaking his head. “Is that how low you think of me? That I helped you to get in your fucking pants? God, Dennis, you make me so mad sometimes.” Mac crawled out of bed, snatching his phone up from the floor.

Dennis stared at him, his lips tight and his jaw clenched: his famous emotionless facial expression forming. Well, that was the end of that conversation, then. Once Dennis shut down like this, there was no turning back. “I’m taking a shower, dude, I’ll see you later,” Mac said, walking out of the room.

He took an angry, cold shower, willing his annoying boner to go away. He allowed himself extra time to get clean, wanting to avoid the awkwardness that was bound to ensue. Dennis was likely going to ignore him for the next couple of hours, something Mac fucking hated. Nothing was worse than Dennis’ loud-as-hell silence. It was deafening.

He stepped out of the shower, taking care to get dressed all the way before he left the bathroom. No sense going out half-naked, considering. The apartment was silent when he stepped out, too silent. Not like there was an angry, middle-aged man, sitting alone, but silent like no one was home.

“Den?” He called out, rubbing the towel on his head. “Hello?” He stuck his head in the bedroom, which was empty. He looked around the house, and frowned. That bastard left. He unlocked his phone-no new messages. Finally, he noticed a single sticky note stuck to the inside of the front door. _Went out for a little while. Don’t wait up._

__________________________

 

Dee glanced up from her phone. “So, how’s it going in North Dakota?” Charlie shrugged.

“I don’t know, dude! Mac was being really auspicious.”

“Suspicious?”

“That too! He was all whispering and stuff, because he didn’t want to wake up Dennis. They were totally sharing a bed, Dee.” He tossed his phone on the nightstand next to him.

Dee nodded. “Well that part is obvious. I’m pretty sure they were always doing that. Did you ever see Mac’s old bedroom? It was bare. They’ve been banging for years.” She pushed the comforter off her lap, before jumping out of bed. “Hey do you want anything to drink?”

“Do you have any eggnog?” Charlie chirped.

She laughed. “I definitely don’t have any eggnog. I have soda, beer, or water.”

“Beer me.” She crossed her apartment, and opened her fridge. She picked up one can, glanced at the clock, shrugged, and then grabbed a second one. She turned back around, to see Charlie looking at her with a smile.

“Checking out my ass again?” She snarked. He grinned sheepishly.

“Well when you’re walking around naked, like some kind of slut, it’s kind of hard for a guy to not look.”

She rolled her eyes. “Charlie, it’s my goddamn apartment, I don’t have to wear clothes if I don’t want to. In fact, you’re naked, too, buddy.” Charlie frowned, like he hadn’t really considered it. She plopped down next to her friend, pulling the blankets around her. She handed him the beer, which he cracked open and started gulping down immediately.

Once he had a healthy amount, he wiped his face. “Dee, what are we doing, here?”

She looked down at her own beer, raising her eyebrows. She didn’t expect today to be the day that Charlie and her had The Talk. She had just invited him over the night before because it had become habitual. Comfortable. “I uh-I dunno, Charlie. It’s pretty early in the morning for that, isn’t it?”

“For what?”

“For uh, feelings and shit? Fuck that, let’s just go into work and act like everything’s normal, like we always do.” Dee took a chug of her beer. No point being entirely sober if she didn’t have to be. “I like what’s going on, Charlie, and I like where it’s at. Do we need to change things?”

Charlie shrugged again. “I dunno. I guess not.”

Dee sighed in relief. Any day now, this was all going to crash and burn, but today is not that day. She leaned over and kissed him slowly, before getting out of bed again. “Do we need to stop at your place for clothes, or are you good?”

“Nah, I’m good. Frank’s not gonna notice if I’m in the same t-shirt again. Besides, he knows I went out last night, he was awake when I left. He thinks I’ve got some side whore that I’m banging,” Charlie said, getting out of bed and stepping into his jeans.

“I mean, you do, technically,” Dee pointed out.

Charlie looked around on the floor for his shirt. “I mean, not really. You’re my best bud, not just some whore. I'd never call you a whore.” Dee decided to ignore the fact that he had, actually, because it wasn't worth it.

The pair drove together to Paddy’s, where Frank was casually sitting at the bar, shifting through some paperwork. “Ah, there you guys are. Charlie, you never came home last night! Did you get Dee to pick you up from the whore’s place? You dog,” Frank said, grinning at him. Dee rolled her eyes, walking behind the counter to pour herself a drink.

“Uh yeah, Frank, I didn’t feel like walking home, so I made Dee come pick me up. Not like she was doing anything,” Charlie snorted.

“Well yeah, she’s not exactly Miss Socialite anymore. I’m sure she was at home, watching her sad Lifetime movies when you called,” Frank said, not looking up from the papers. Before Dee could interrupt in protest, Frank spoke again. “Anyway, Charlie, where the hell are those shipments for beer? We have absolutely no alcohol in this goddamn bar, and the delivery guy claims he dropped it off! Where did it go?”

Charlie frowned. “Frank, that’s never really been my job, I’m more of a custodial employee, you see...oh! Hold on, Mac is calling me again.” He pulled his phone from out of his ratty jeans. “Mac, what’s going on?”

 _“Charlie, has Dennis said anything to you today?”_ came Mac’s panicked voice. _“He ran off, and I can’t find him anywhere.”_

“Is that Mac again? Ask him when the hell they’re coming back,” Dee shouted.

Charlie waved her away, before wandering back into the office so he could hear better. “What are you talking about, dude? Weren’t you just with him, like two hours ago?”

 _“Yeah, but then we got into a uh, an argument, I went to go take a shower, and when I came back, he was gone. Please, I’m so worried about him, Charlie. I flushed all his crack as soon as I got here, but I’m nervous that he’s going to use again.”_ Mac was going a million miles an hour, and Charlie was struggling to keep up.

“Wait, so, you guys got into a fight, and he ran away? Sounds like he just needs to calm down, Mac. You guys fight all the time.”

_"Yeah, but not usually when he’s only a week sober! Do you know how much time and effort I put into not fighting with Dennis when he’s in recovery? It is a delicate process, okay Charlie? I-”_

“Mac, I really don’t have time for all this, I’m sure Dennis is fine,” Charlie interrupted, rolling his eyes. Mac had been calling Charlie about his issues with Dennis for decades, and this was nothing new. “Look, when are you guys coming back? There’s an issue with shipments around here because none of us ever deal with suppliers. That’s always you and Dennis’ deal.”

He could hear Mac pacing on the other line. _“Dude, I don’t care all about that! I’m freaking out here, and you’re talking about shipments? I don’t know this town at all, what if Dennis is dead somewhere in an alley?”_

He shook his head. Unbelievable. Why was it that every time Mac was in an absolute panic, it was about Dennis’ wellbeing? “Dude, you weren’t this worried about him when he was gone! You spent every day on Grindr, and never even paid attention when we would bitch about him. What changed?”

 _“What does me being on Grindr have to do with caring about Dennis? I can have a best friend and be on hookup apps at the same time, Charlie,”_ Mac said, his voice suddenly higher. Geez, they had to deal with Mac pretending to be straight for years, and he supposes now they have to deal with Mac pretending he isn’t in love with Dennis. Great.

“Dude,” Charlie said. “It has everything to do with that.” Mac was silent for a moment, leaving a very heavy pause. “Why did you ask if Dennis and I were banging?”, he asked finally.

“I was just curious,” Charlie shrugged. “‘Cuz most of us thought you were, already,” he said. “Dee and I were talking about it before I called you this morning, so I was already kinda thinkin’ about it.”

_“Dee was with you this morning?”_

“Well, I mean, yeah! She was driving me to work this mornin’, so I was already hanging out at her apartment, and-”

 _“Wait, you were at her apartment? So she could drive you to Paddy’s? Why would you go to her apartment so she could drive you? That doesn’t make any sense-your place is closer to the bar,”_ Mac said, slowly.

“Anyway! I hope you find Dennis, bye!”

Mac opened his mouth to say more, but Charlie had already hung up. His face twisted in confusion. He wished Dennis was here, so he could talk about this with him. Like an answer to his prayers, the door flung back open, and Dennis casually walked in, the stench of tobacco wafting with him. “Hey, dude,” Dennis said in a clipped tone. His eyes were clear, although showed signs of annoyance. He was completely sober.

Mac threw his arms around him, pulling him close. “Jesus, Dennis, I was so worried! Where did you go?” Dennis relaxed in his embrace for a moment, before gently pushing away. His annoyed demeanor had melted away, and only worry remained.

“I just went on a walk.” He was frowning, his eyebrows scrunched together. “I just needed some space after our fight...I just walked to the gas station and got a pack of cigarettes,” he said, darting his eyes away in embarrassment. He had quit years ago, but must have started up again.

“I...I thought you went to go use again,” Mac confessed. “I thought you were so pissed you’d do crack again. It’s only been a week, so….y’know.” His eyes flicked down, ashamed that he had such low expectations of Dennis. He should have known that Dennis would have been fine.

Dennis flashed him his trademark grin. “Oh please, Mac. I use drugs to cope with my crippling depression, not my anger issues. I don’t smoke when I’m mad.” He chuckled at himself, holding up the cigarettes. “Well, I don’t smoke crack, at least. He tossed his coat on the kitchen table, before rummaging through the fridge. “Hey dude, I think we should go on a little road trip. Y’know, me, you, and Brian Jr? Sounds pretty nostalgic and fun, am I right? That’s what I need, buddy. I need the two favorite people, the open road, and a couple of sweet jams. To celebrate my sobriety, y’know?” Mac nodded, completely dumbfounded. Was Dennis about to act like nothing was wrong? Like Dennis hadn’t tried to seduce him, just a few hours ago? Dennis pulled out two beers from the fridge, walking over to hand one to Mac.

“Hey Dennis?” Mac asked, using his keys to pop off the lid.

“What’s up?”

“I...I think Charlie and Dee are banging.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sunny tumblr is bighairmac. Follow me to see my updates about the fic, and listen to me cry over macdennis.
> 
> I apologize for these slow updates. Trying to apply to grad school and all, y'know?


	6. Mac and Dennis Share Big Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dennis scoffed, offended. 'Uh...okay? We share a bed every day you’ve been here, and we shared a bed for almost a year with Sweet Dee. Why does it matter now?'"
> 
> Mac and Dennis say what everyone's been   
> thinking for like, years.

“No, that’s not right. It’s Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Edison. “

Mac scrunched his nose, “Nah...I don’t think that’s right.”

“It’s absolutely right, have you never taken a basic history class? I mean, I know you barely passed high school, but come on, Mac.” Dennis said, lowering his voice with each word, coming down to a whisper.

“No, Den, it’s not! And,” Mac paused, to make a frustrated face. “You can’t talk like that in front of Brian,” he said, gesturing to the back seat. “He can’t think that that’s normal.”

Dennis rolled his eyes. “He’s asleep, Mac! He has been for the last couple of hours, it’s fine. And by the way, why would Donald Trump be on Mt. Rushmore? He’s only been president for a year, that’s ridiculous.”

Mac pinched his nose, frustrated. “No, Dennis, they change it every presidency! So they have a couple of old guys, and then they also have the most recent president. Now, I can’t say for sure, but I bet you anything that Obama got left up anyway, because all these liberals run the national parks services.”

Dennis chuckled, tapping the steering wheel impatiently. “Mac, _you're_ gay!”

“So?” Mac retorted, scrunching his eyebrows.

 

“So! You’re always going on and on about liberals, but you’re poor, gay, and definitely pretty liberal!”

Mac’s jaw dropped. “I am not a liberal! How could you say that? I’m the most conservative man you’ve ever met!” He snapped. He paused, glancing over at the sleeping child in the backseat. “And by the way Dennis, many conservatives openly embrace homosexuality. It’s not 1990 anymore, okay?”

It was strange, even now, for Mac to be talking like this. He still got a slight pinch in his stomach whenever he referenced his own gayness. He still felt his chest tighten whenever he saw two dudes holding hands. He even found himself nodding along to some 700 Club bullshit that was running on TV the other night. Dennis was curled around him as he sat up in bed, resting a comfortable hand on his thigh. It had been days after their little argument, and Dennis didn’t seem to get the hint that Mac wasn’t there to bang him. 

Dennis wasn’t overtly trying to bang him either, Mac was pretty sure. He was just being...nicer? He hadn’t told Mac he hated him even once, and he kept sitting closer and closer to him, no matter where they were. They continuously shared a bed every night, much to Mac’s confusion. They had done it occasionally back at the old apartment, and definitely at Dee’s, but never with this amount of constant snuggling. Dennis was always reaching for him-tangling their ankles together in the middle of the night, tossing and arm around his side, brushing their arms together. He wasn’t pulling him closer, just extending his limbs across the bed to touch Mac. 

Mac remembered Dennis looking up at him, and smiling. Not his creepy, dead, smile. His real one, the one Mac only saw in genuine moments of happiness, when he was too preoccupied to have a front. Then, he glanced over at the TV, instantly turning his face to one of disgust. “Change the channel,” he had muttered, before pressing his face into Mac’s chest.

That was days ago, and now, they were almost to their shitty little hotel, about half an hour away from Mt. Rushmore. Why on Earth Dennis had decided that Mt.Rushmore was their road trip destination was far beyond Mac, but he didn’t question it. And anyway, it’s American as hell to see Mt. Rushmore, so they might as well instill those values in Brian Jr., anyway.

His phone buzzed, and he looked down to see that Carmen had texted him a picture of Patrick, wearing some thick glasses and grinning. 

_Carmen: Found out Patrick is nearsighted, and so now he’s wearing glasses. I think they’re hideous and nerdy, but he likes them, and can see better, so I’m not complaining, lol. How’s Dennis?_

Mac had always thought that parents were boring people, but he found he loved talking about kids with Carmen. They’d been texting weekly, giving each other updates on their lives. Carmen was almost entirely up to speed on the whole Dennis situation-other than the fact that Dennis had tried to bang Mac. He wasn’t quite ready to explain that to anyone, just yet. 

Mac turned around in his seat and snapped a picture of Brian Jr., asleep still in his carseat. 

_Mac: Aw, he looks cute, don’t be too hard on him. Just don’t let him get really into anime or something, and he’ll be fine. Dennis decided we needed to road trip to Mt. Rushmore, so we’ve been driving all day._

__

_Carmen: Brian Jr. is so goddamn cute! Oh yikes, sounds like a boring field trip. What made him choose that destination? Super into American history?_

_Mac: lol I’m not sure, but he was insistent. I guess he’s just a patriot or whatever. Sounds boring as hell, but hopefully there will be a good bar around_

_Carmen: Sounds like the perfect family vacation! ___

__

__

“Who are you texting?” Dennis asked, glancing over.

Mac shrugged. “Just Carmen. That baby Dee popped out is getting nerdier and nerdier by the day. If it was my kid, he would be enrolled in karate or something, by now.”

“Well, it’s not your kid, Mac. You’re not a father. And it’s not Dee’s baby, either. It’s the tranny’s,” Dennis said, dismissively. 

“Dude, you can’t fucking say that!” Mac said, frowning.

“What? Baby?”

“No! The other one!” Mac sighed, clearly frustrated. “You’re not supposed to say ‘tranny,’” he said, lowering his voice to practically a whisper. “It’s a slur, dude.”

Dennis rolled his eyes. “Okay, whatever, dude.”

Mac stomped his foot. “It’s not whatever, dude! It’s a fucking slur, and I’m asking you not to use it. It’s a word that hurts my friend and I’m telling you, it’s fucked up that you said it. Nobody in the Gang says the N word, none of you say faggot anymore after that whole debacle, but somehow that one is okay? Where do we draw the line, Dennis? If we know it hurts peoples’ feelings, why do it?”

Brian Jr. stirred, mumbling to himself. 

Dennis turned around. “Hey buddy! We’re almost to our hotel, and then you can go to bed, okay?”

Brian Jr. nodded, smiling. “Okay, daddy,” he said, dozing back off. 

They sat in silence until they got to the hotel, Mac quietly fuming. Dennis silently unbuckled his seat belt and slammed the door behind him. Brian Jr.’s eyes flashed back open. Mac sighed, getting out of the passenger seat and helping Brian Jr. out of the car. Mac leaned against the car with Brian Jr. while Dennis checked them in. The kid yawned, stretching his arms. He tugged on his hand. “Mac, I’m tired,” he told Mac. 

“Yeah, you and me both, kiddo,” Mac snapped. “Just wait for your dad to come back, and then we can go to sleep, okay?”

Brian Jr. frowned. “Don’t yell at me,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I’m not yelling!” Mac exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “I’m just a little annoyed at your dad, okay?”  
Brian Jr. instantly burst into tears. 

“Oh shit, don’t cry little guy!” Mac said, kneeling down to his level. “I’m sorry, please don’t cry, Brian Jr., I didn’t mean to yell at you.” He looked around wildly, hoping no one could see him failing to calm the upset child. 

Dennis walked out and snorted. “It’s okay, BJ, Mac makes me want to cry sometimes, too.”

“He yelled at me,” Brian Jr. sobbed, wiping his face.

Glaring at Mac, Dennis scooped up Brian Jr. “Aw, I’m sorry bud. He’s hard to get along with, huh?”

“Hey! I didn’t even do anything!” Mac protested. 

Dennis ignored Mac, opting instead to walk up the stairs to their hotel room. “You got the bags, right Mac?” he asked over his shoulder. Mac scowled, grabbing their duffel bags and throwing them over his shoulder. 

Dennis helped Brian Jr. change out of his little jeans and t-shirt and into a pair of footie pajamas. It was late, but not late enough for Mac to want to actual sleep. He sat on the bed across from Dennis and Brian Jr., as Dennis changed his pull-up. Mac watched in awe. All day, Dennis had been in total Dad Mode, making sure every step of the way that Brian Jr. was taken care of. Through their many stops throughout the day, Dennis always made sure to feed Brian Jr. first, change his pull-ups, have his jacket, etc. It dawned on Mac that almost nothing about their road trip was no different from their usual antics. Sure, they drank a few beers throughout the day, and they seemed to never stop arguing, but they were still the same. 

It made Mac’s stomach hurt, how much like a family they were.

Dennis quietly helped Brian Jr. get tucked into one of the beds, handing him his favorite stuffed animal. Brian Jr. rolled over, shoving his thumb in his mouth. Dennis glanced at Mac. “I’m gonna shower,” he said flatly. 

“Okay,” Mac said, taking off his shoes.

________________________________

Mac dozed off to the sound of whatever cartoon movie Dennis had put on, his phone resting on his chest. South Dakota Grindr was about as uncomfortable as North Dakota was, mostly full of flabby older men wearing Donald Trump hats, looking for something “discreet.” The first couple of months that Mac starting messing around with dudes, that didn’t bother him so much, but the longer Mac had been out, the more it bothered him. He had been closeted for so long-his entire life, really, and sneaking around with married men was suddenly boring to him. 

His eyes flashed open when Dennis quietly slipped into bed next to him. He tried to pull Mac into an embrace, something he did almost every night to initiate their cuddling, but Mac shrugged him off. Dennis glanced at him, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

Mac raised an eyebrow. “Dude, there’s two beds. Share with Brian Jr.”

Dennis scoffed, offended. “Uh...okay? We share a bed every day you’ve been here, and we shared a bed for almost a year with Sweet Dee. Why does it matter now?”

Mac sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Because dude, this time there’s two beds. You don’t have to share with me, if you don’t want to.”

“But what if I do want to?” Dennis asked, lowering his voice. Mac knew that voice. It was the same voice he used when he invited his dates inside the apartment. It was the same voice he used whenever he wanted to manipulate the Waitress. It was the same voice he used whenever he suggested they watch porn together. He stuck out his lip, pouting. 

“Dennis, I don’t want to. Get out.”

Dennis’ face twisted up in a mixture of anger and confusion. “Well what the hell, Mac?! I’ve been trying everything, and nothing is working!” 

“What? What on Earth are you talking about?” Mac crossed his arms and furrowed his brows. 

“I’ve been trying to get in bed with you ever since you got here, and you’re friendzoning me harder than a sorority girl friendzones a nerd! I’m not a nerd, Mac! I’m actually quite the catch, if you haven’t noticed! I’m a handsome guy, Mac, gay dudes are constantly falling over for me, so I don’t understand why you haven’t fallen for any of my tricks!” Dennis ranted, balling his fists. 

Mac rolled his eyes. “Dennis, I know that. And I know all your tricks. I’ve known you for decades, and I’m not stupid, although apparently you think I am.”

Dennis balked. “You...you knew?”

“Yeah, Dennis. I’m not an idiot. I have the DENNIS system memorized like a goddamn recipe. I know what you’re doing, right now, and you’re just doing it because you feel lonely and sad, and that’s not fair to me,” Mac said, pulling the comforter off, and swinging out of bed. If Dennis wasn’t going to budge, Mac would have to be the one to move. Maybe he could sleep in the back seat of the car without getting too many kinks in his neck.

“Mac! I am not trying to DENNIS you, what the hell?” Dennis said, jumping out of bed to follow him. 

“Dennis, yes you are! Look, we both know what this is,” Mac said, gesturing between the two of them. “When you were gone, I had a lot of time to think, and I realized how toxic this was. You knew I was gay this entire time, you knew I had feelings for you, and you used that to your advantage, for years!” 

It was the first time Mac had openly admitted to how he felt about Dennis, and it fucking hurt. He never imagined that he’d actually say it out loud, and never like this. 

“I’m not DENNISing you,” Dennis repeated. “You’re my best friend, why would I do that to you?”

“Why else would you do any of this! You keep grabbing my hand, and being nice to me, and all this boyfriend stuff that you never did before, and it’s fucked up to do that when you know how I feel.” Mac glanced over at Brian Jr., whose eyes were glued to the TV. It made Mac’s stomach twist in knots to fight in front of him like this. Mac knew what it was like to pretend to ignore adults fighting. 

“Obviously I’m doing it because I miss you! Because you’re...you’re my best friend, y’know?” Dennis stuttered, looking around nervously. “I wanna uh, you know, I wanna be around you all the time. The whole time I’ve been gone, I missed you like crazy dude, and I just want us to be back to how we were,” Dennis said, this time more gentle. He tried to grab Mac’s hand, but Mac ripped his hand away. 

“This isn’t what we were before!” Mac snapped. “I don’t know why you don’t get that.”

Dennis’ shoulders slumped. “I...I know. You’re right. This is nothing like before. But I want this now. I was so blind to how important you are to me, and now I see that-”

 

“You’re doing it now! You’re trying to manipulate me, Dennis, and that’s not okay! I should get to be happy!” Mac said, stomping his foot. 

“So I don’t make you happy?” Dennis asked, incredulous. “Now that’s just ridiculous.”

“Of course you make me happy,” Mac sighed. “But I mean, for real. I want to be with a guy, and be happy like it’s real. I want to be with someone and not wonder if they actually even like me as a person. I want to feel safe and comfortable with someone. I want want Carmen has with her husband,” Mac said, shaking his head. 

“And you don’t think you could have that with me,” Dennis said flatly. 

“Do you?” Mac asked. “Aren’t you straight, anyway?”  
Dennis snorted. “I’m not straight, Mac, don’t be stupid.” He sat back on the bed, putting his hands on his face.

“You bang chicks, all the time!” Mac said, putting his hands on his hips.

“I am a bisexual man,” Dennis sniffed, crossing his legs. “Obviously I’m not straight Mac, we used to bang all the time.”

Mac’s jaw dropped. “Where was I when we banged? Because I certainly don’t remember that!”

“Okay, so we never did the whole penetration thing, but you know what I mean! Having jerk-off sessions together, mutual blow jobs-”

“You always called them ‘bro jobs,’” Mac interrupted. 

“-bro jobs, okay, whatever. Stop nitpicking. You and I, we have years of sexual experiences together. On what planet would that make either of us straight? I mean I know that you used God as a shield for your own sexuality, but what did you think it meant to me?” Dennis asked, his voice quieter this time, more serious. 

Mac stopped. He had never thought about it. What started out as sharing porn videos in their early twenties had bloomed into years of experimenting together, but Mac had always brushed it off as part of their closeness. After coming out, Mac hadn’t really thought about it twice, because Dennis was straight, right?

“Why didn’t you let me in, before?” Mac asked, quietly. “Before you left? The apartment...Valentine’s Day, offering to help raise Brian Jr...you didn’t see any of that as a clue for you to say something, huh?” 

“What, because you were doing nice things for me?” 

Mac shook his head. “No, because I was opening myself up to you! I was trying to start something that’s been bubbling under the surface for years! You know it, I know it, hell, I’m pretty sure the whole gang knows it. Then you left, and I fucking moved on! I started going on dates, I tried to feel normal, but I couldn’t, man.” He sat down next to Dennis on the bed. “Look, I spent the last twenty years completely devoted to you, Dennis. I followed you around like a puppy, and you never gave me the time of day. It feels good to not feel so tied to you.”

“So...you’re saying that I make your life shittier,” Dennis stated. His face was blank, completely emotionless. 

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Mac said, squeezing his arm. “You’ve always been the best part of my life.”

“Then why don’t you want me?” Dennis asked, almost naively. He looked so small like this. Usually Dennis was oozing with confidence, sure that every being in his vicinity wanted his glorious body. It was rare for Mac to see Dennis get rejected, but it was completely surreal to reject Dennis, himself. 

Mac sighed. “You know that’s not what I’m saying.” Even now, Dennis was so attractive Mac could barely breath. Being in this close of vicinity with Dennis all the time was driving him crazy, which is sort of why he had been dicking around on Grindr earlier. His dark curls were starting to get flecks of grey in them around the temple, which Mac thought was honestly adorable. His eyes looked wet, but his face was scarily neutral.

“Then what are you saying?” 

“I’m saying….I’m saying that I’m confused, Dennis. I never even knew that us being a thing was a possibility. I honestly never once considered that, because of how deeply in the closet I was,” Mac said, straining to explain. 

Dennis stared at the carpet. “What about after? When I was still in Philly? And you were out?”

“Dennis, you were there. I tried. I tried so goddamn hard to get your attention. You were barely even speaking to me. All I wanted was my best friend back, but the minute I came out you gave me the cold shoulder. Now we’re traveling across the country together with your kid and you’re telling me-what? That you feel the same way?”

His eyes were still glued to that same spot on the carpet. “I don’t know Mac, I guess you’re the only one that’s allowed to have a hard time accepting themselves, right? I can’t possibly have a sexuality crisis because you have a monopoly on that, right? ‘Dennis, you might like guys? What are you, Mac?’” Dennis said, making his voice annoyingly high, in what Mac could only assume was supposed to be either Dee or Charlie. 

Was this a conversation Dennis had had with others in the Gang? He blinked, letting a tear slip down his face. He glared at that same spot on the carpet, as if it had done him personal wrong. “I should have just done all the work and proposed to you the moment you came out! I should have magically gotten over all of my own issues and confessed my love for you, right then and there,” he spat. “I should have ripped off my clothes and banged you in front of the Gang, and then carried you bridal style to our brand new shiny apartment, where we make love in front of the fireplace for hours to Hungry Eyes. Jesus, Mac, what did you think was going to happen? Grow up.”

Mac bit his lip, balling his hands into a fist. “You’re being a douche, Dennis.”

Dennis shook his head, still refusing to meet Mac’s eyes. “I’m being a douche!? You basically admitted that you’ve been in love with me for years, and now that I’ve tried to hand you everything you’ve ever wanted on a silver platter, it’s not good enough because it didn’t happen sooner?” 

“Fuck off, dude.” Mac said, hopping off the bed. He snatched his shoes from the corner, and shoved his feet in them. 

“Where are you going?” Dennis asked, finally looking up. He had been crying, something Mac hadn’t noticed before. Besides the time Frank exposed them all to Barbara Reynolds’ corpse, every other time Mac had seen Dennis cry was for a scheme. He found himself vaguely wondering if this time was an act, too. 

“Out,” he said flatly. “I don’t feel like being here, right now. I will be back in a few hours.” He grabbed his jacket from the floor. “See you later, Brian Jr!” 

Brian Jr. looked up sleepily from the cartoon and smiled at Mac. 

As Mac shut the door, he heard Dennis say, “Hey Brian Jr., can you scoot over, bud? Dad’s gonna share the bed with you, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my Sunny tumblr smallhairmac to watch my slow decent into madness.


	7. Mac Bangs the President

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac, Dennis, and Brian Jr. visit Mt. Rushmore, and it totally blows.

For the first time since Mac had shown up at his front door, Dennis woke up not craving crack.

His first thought wasn’t _how can I get high_ , it was _that’s not Mac laying next to me._ It was Brian Jr., of course. Thus far in his role as a father, Dennis had been pretty strict about Brian Jr. sleeping in his own bed, so he wasn’t expecting to feel the tiny human’s sticky hot breath against his back when he woke up. He was snoring lightly, which was worrisome to Dennis. Is he sick? Does he have a cold or something?

Oh god, Dennis couldn’t even handle being a sober person, how was he supposed to handle taking care of a small person with a disease?

Well hey, getting high wasn’t even Dennis’ first thought. Nice job there, Dennis.

Usually it’s something along the line of I want to get high and I want to fuck Mac.

Mac.

Where is he? Certainly in the other bed, it’s been hours, right? Dennis flopped over to see and...nope. The hotel bed across from him was empty, and still wrinkled from the pair of them sitting together, last night. He sighed. Stupid Mac, he probably got himself murdered by a hobo, or something. He squinted at the annoyingly bright alarm clock. Fuck, it was barely 5am. Brian Jr. snuggled closer into Dennis, and sighed, content. Dennis wondered if he should go back to sleep, or if he should get up and look for Mac. If Dennis was a betting man, which most of the time he is, he would bet that Mac was hanging out at some trashy bar, until they kicked him out. He was probably passed out somewhere, maybe on a nice park bench or something. They weren’t in the city anymore, you can’t just pass out in the streets. Honestly, it was a miracle that Mac was alive at all.

Gently, he rolled Brian Jr. away from him. Brian Jr. stirred for a moment, before curling back up with the blankets. Dennis sighed in relief. He almost never struggled to get Brian Jr. to sleep, for whatever reason. His child always managed to fall asleep, soundly, as soon as his head hit the pillow. He must have taken after He had small flickers of memory of getting up all the time at his sons’ age, and getting in trouble for it. Frank would grab him by the arm and shove him back into his room, locking the door behind him. He would go back to bed, praying and pleading with the universe to let him fall asleep, but he never could. It was like that his entire life though-never getting more than a few hours at a time. Well, until Mac pounded on his door a few weeks ago.

Christ, he’d never slept better, with Mac around. That’s it, he needed to go find the big idiot.

Leaving Brian Jr. in the bed, Dennis marched out the door, ready to find Mac.

Of course, as soon as he opened the door he walked right into Mac. “Oh, hey dude,” Mac said tiredly.

“Uh, ‘oh hey dude?’” Dennis snapped.

“Hey dude, where the hell have you been?! You had me worried sick, Mac!”

He smiled sheepishly. “Aww, I’m sorry Dennis. I got a little uh, fucked up.”

He shrugged. “I just went to the bar across the street.

“Until 5 in the morning?” Dennis asked, skeptically. He stood in the doorway, awkwardly.

“Well, no….” Mac trailed off. He looked around awkwardly, refusing to meet Dennis’ eyes.

Calmly, Dennis stepped outside and shut the door to the hotel room. He leaned against the door, smiling.

“You slept with someone.” It was a statement, not a question.

Mac’s shoulders slumped. “Yeah,” he admitted. “A guy at the bar. But! It didn’t mean anything, Dennis, I swear.”

For whatever reason, Dennis wasn’t mad. He really wasn’t. To Dennis, sex was as emotionless as doing the dishes or walking a dog. It was an action that didn’t take thought, or effort. As much as Dennis wanted Mac, the idea of Mac banging someone didn’t really upset him. How many faceless people drifted in and out of Dennis’ bedroom over the years that never meant a single thing? Well, all of them, really. “It’s okay, Mac. You got drunk and boned a dude. How is that different from any other fight we’ve gotten into?” Dennis said, shrugging.

Mac furrowed his eyebrows. “Uh, it’s a little different, bro. You basically admitted to me earlier that you’re into me,” he said, gesturing between the two of them.

Dennis sighed. Great, like he needed that reminder. “Whatever, let’s just move past it,” he said, waving his hands. “I just want to have a great trip with you and Brian Jr., see that stupid mountain, and finish this good old fashioned road trip with my best friend.” He attempted a smile. He wasn’t sure if Mac totally bought it, but Mac smiled back.

“Okay, I’m cool with that. But you promise you’re not mad at me? Not even for storming out?”

“Nah, I was being an asshole. I’m surprised you didn’t punch me out, honestly,” Dennis said, unlocking the hotel room and opening the door.

_________________________________________

“See, I have what’s called ‘straight passing privilege,’” Mac said as they walked through the Presidential Trail.

It was a pretty easy trail, and Brian Jr. was having fun walking outside. They had joined a ranger-run tour, but the dude was a big nerd, and the three of them were trailing in the back. Dennis was just wearing a t-shirt and jeans like a normal person, but Mac was wearing this awful American t-shirt, with cargo shorts. To make it worse, Brian Jr. was strapped to his back in a baby carrier, which made him look even more like a fucking Dad.

Dennis nodded. “Sure.” He wasn’t going to bother correcting him on that, because while Mac was perfectly comfortable with his sexuality, he was still clinging on to his issues with masculinity. It wasn’t worth the argument.

“That’s when you’re gay, but you’re not obviously gay from your exterior,” Mac continued, gesturing at himself, as if that was a good example. “So people don’t look at you while you’re walking down the street and think, ‘oh, that guy’s obviously queer.’ So I’m privileged because homophobes won’t try to jump me just from my looks.”

Dennis nodded again. “Right.” He was barely listening. Mac was constantly talking about gay culture these days, as if Dennis hadn’t been secretly slipping in and out of gay bars since he was fifteen. On second thought, maybe that was something he should someday share with Mac, if he wanted to start being more emotional with Mac. Mac loved when Dennis shared personal shit like that.

“Now, we might start running into problems if people ever saw us together, because even though I look pretty straight, if people saw me holding your hand or something, they might freak out. But don’t worry Dennis,” he said, chopping at the air and making swish noises, “I would obviously protect us from any assailants. You’re always safe when you’re with me.” Dennis’ stomach twisted up in knots.

If people saw them holding hands? Any attempt Dennis had made at holding Mac’s hand these last few weeks had been brushed aside. He couldn’t tell if Mac was still pissed at him, but he hadn’t been acting like he was. Why on Earth would he bring up hand holding, when last night he had practically said he wanted nothing to do with Dennis? Sure, he had said he was confused, but what did that even mean? What was Mac’s game here?

The tour turned around another corner and suddenly they were standing face to face with several dead presidents. Fuck, Dennis was pretty sure he had gotten a few of them wrong, when they were arguing about this yesterday. Dennis peeked at Mac out of the corner of his eye. Mac was leaning back, one hand on his hip, the other shading his eyes from the sun, staring up at the mountain. “Y’know...I’m sorry Dennis, but this sort of pisses me off!” Mac exclaimed.

Dennis frowned. “What does?” He gestured wildly at the mountain. “That! The big carving of some dead dudes, into this beautiful rock. It probably looked way better, before.”

Dennis chuckled. “Yeah, it was probably this really nice landmark that everyone really appreciated, and then the government game in and scraped some faces into it! It’s a goddamn shame, really.”

Brian Jr. frowned, looking up at the mountain. “Is that it?” he asked, tugging at Mac’s sleeve.

Mac nodded. “Yeah, bud. That’s what we came to see.”

Brian Jr. sighed, heavily. He leaned his face against Mac’s back. The navy blue bucket hat that Dennis had thought to pack at the last minute, flattened against Mac’s shirt. Dennis felt his stomach twist up in knots.

Mac turned to Dennis. “Dude, wanna bail? Like, let’s just take a few pictures and take Brian Jr. to something cool, like the zoo or something. I know that’s not historical or whatever, but we could totally teach him shit about animals and stuff.” Fuck, Mac was goddamn adorable like this. Dennis always knew he had father issues-hell, their entire Gang had father issues-but seeing Mac with Brian Jr. strapped to his back, advocating for his education during their road trip, as if Brian would even vaguely remember this when he’s older, well. It did something to Dennis’ heart.

He grinned. “Yeah, let’s get out of here,” he said, patting Brian Jr. on the back. He tugged on the back of the baby carrier, pulling Mac in close, too. “This place is a fucking dump, honestly,” Dennis muttered. “We should just go get some food, and find some other place tourist-y to crash.” He could feel Mac tense under his hands, and Dennis tried to not grip him so tightly. Dennis wrapped an arm around Mac’s hip, pulling his son and Mac close. “I don’t care about the destination, Mac. I just wanted a good old fashioned road trip, with my best friend and my kiddo.”

Mac’s eyes shut, tightly. “Dennis,” he said, shortly. “Why are you doing this?”

“You guys are so cute! Do you want a picture?” Dennis and Mac’s neck snapped up, to see a short woman with multicolored hair standing in front of them. She smiled at them, gesturing to Mac’s phone. “Your family is so cute! Do you want me to take a picture of you guys, in front of the mountain?” Her eyes flickered to the carvings behind them.

“Oh, we’re not a f-” Mac started, but Dennis cut him off.

“That would be awesome, thank you. Babe, hand her your phone,” Dennis told him. “We don’t want little Brian to forget our family road trip, now do we?”

Mac bit his lip like he wanted to say more. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, ma’am,” he said, unlocking his phone and handing it to the woman.

“Say cheese!” She said, in a sing-songy voice. Dennis tried not to roll his eyes. He put his arm around Mac and Brian, pulling them close. God, he was uncomfortable. When was the last time he posed in a picture, ever? He always ended up over-analyzing every detail of his body, and it consumed him. It was just better to deny getting his picture taking. But this road trip, this stupid goddamn trip, was supposed to be about showing Mac how much he cared. He wanted to show Mac that he was more than just a middle-aged addict who yells all the time. He wanted to show how much fun they could have together.

“Okay, one more!” the woman said. Jesus she was annoying. “Kiss each other!” Mac stiffened, but Dennis didn’t give him time to think, leaning over to kiss Mac’s cheek. The woman aww’d. Great, they were being tokenized by this little Hot Topic employee. “Okay, one more, but this time, both of you kiss the baby!”

“Lady, how many times are you gonna say ‘one more,’ before it really is just one more?” Mac snapped, his voice getting higher with each syllable. “We don’t have all day!”

Dennis reached around and gave Mac a squeeze on his shoulder. Calm. “Sorry, he’s just a little cranky. One more’ll be fine,” Dennis said, smiling at the now confused woman. He unbuckled Brian Jr. out of the papoose and held him up between Mac and himself. “Give the kiddo a kiss,” Dennis instructed, arching an eyebrow. Mac rolled his eyes, before leaning in to kiss Brian Jr.’s cheek, while Dennis kissed the other. Dennis rarely showed affection to his son, something he was painfully aware of. Frank always raised him that fathers show their love by teaching lessons, not giving hugs and kisses. Dennis was trying his best to parent by the rule of, if he wasn’t sure what to do, think of what Frank would do, and then do the opposite. So far it had been working.

The woman aww’d a few more times, walking over to show Dennis and Mac the pictures she had taken. It surprised Dennis how natural they looked together, posing in front of this god awful carving of old dead guys. They had always had a magnetic pull towards each other; orbiting around each other at all times, regardless of how much space around them was provided. But these pictures...they really did look like a family.

In an alternate universe where Dennis wasn’t fucked up in every way, shape, and form, and Mac didn’t use Catholicism as a security blanket for the last three decades, essentially forcing him to stay closeted, the two of them would have gotten together. At least, Dennis likes to think so. He likes to imagine this weird, happier, universe, where they got over themselves years ago, and started dating in their twenties. Maybe they’d actually be married at this point, instead of their current state. If all of the variables that prevented them from being together had been plucked out of their lives, there would have been nothing stopping them, right? Dennis would still own the bar, but it would actually be successful, instead of a shabby front for Frank’s financial schemes. Mac would have found a career in something he loves doing, but never got to explore because of religion. Maybe he’d teach theatre or something. Or whatever. That part doesn’t matter, what matters is that they’re happy.

It’s the universe where Vick Vinegar and Hugh Honey really got together, and paid a pretty penny for a surrogate in the mid-2000s. They would have been very progressive for their time, since they’d been together for so long. They could’ve had a kid together all those years ago, who would be about high school age by now. Mac and Dennis could’ve helped this kid rise to the top of the social totem pole at their local school, because why would the two of them raise a baby that was anything less than incredible?Their kid would be a fucking genius, with all of Dennis’ brains, and really sensitive and emotionally intelligent, from all of his long heart to hearts with Mac. Their kid would be fucking popular, that’s for sure.

When Dennis looked down at the woman’s quick snaps of the three of them, he felt like he was looking through a window into that universe. If the multiverse theory, the one that states that every possible universe does exist in an alternate reality, than one exists where Mac and Dennis had been together for all of these years, instead of obliviously ignoring each other like they had been.

“Den?” Mac asked, bringing Dennis back to the present. Dennis blinked.

“Yes, thank you for taking these pictures. They’re uh, nice.”

The lady smiled. “No problem, seriously! Especially since that homophobe Trump impersonator over there has been giving you a mean mug since he got here. It’s fucking rude. Conservatives, right?” She gestured behind her. Dennis’ eyes flickered behind the woman and holy shit, there really was a Donald Trump impersonator, standing a few yards away. He was wearing an oversized blue suit, a terrible combover wig, and more makeup than Dennis had ever worn in his life. To complete the look he had a signature Make America Great Again red hat, firmly on his head. And that’s saying something. He was was clearly years younger than the actual Donald Trump, but was talking to a small crowd of people with a pretty impeccable accent. He looked past the crowd and made eye contact with Dennis and smirked.

“Well, see you guys around!” the woman said, as she walked away. Dennis peeked over at Mac, who was as white as a sheet.

“Wrong! That’s fake news, okay?” Trump Impersonator said, making the small crowd laugh. “I am the greatest President of the century, possibly even of all time.” He waved to the crowd. He told the crowd he was taking a short break, and slowly, they dispersed as he wandered away. “Dennis, we should probably split, right?” Mac said, wringing his fingers.

Dennis frowned, as he gently placed Brian Jr. back into the carrier on Mac’s back. Dennis gestured at him to turn around, so he could buckle Brian Jr. back in. It was a weird non-talking habit they had developed over the course of Mac’s visit. Mac turned so his back was facing Dennis, and he was looking directly at the impersonator, who was marching straight up to them. “Seriously, man, Mt. Rushmore is really some bullshit-”

“You really have some nerve, parading around with your husband and kid like that,” Trump Impersonator snapped, making a beeline for the trio.

Dennis rolled his eyes. God, he missed living in the city. “Okay, listen homophobe, just let me and my family exit this shitty national monument, and you can go about your terrible impersonation…” Dennis started.

“How could you give me one of the best nights of my life, and then sneak out like that? That’s fucking cruel, Mac,” Trump shouted, his hands flying to his hips. His voice was much higher than before, and faster. His impression was gone, his wig and hat had been ripped off, and he looked absolutely furious. Mac looked sheepish. Oh shit. This was the guy Mac had hooked up with the night before. That’s hilarious.

Dennis barked a laugh. Mac shook his head furiously. “Well, it’s not that I was sneaking out I just had plans early this morning with Dennis, and-”

“Exactly, who the hell is Dennis? Not only did you sneak out like that, but you couldn’t bother to tell me that you have a husband and a kid? I’m no homewrecker,” Trump said, eyes tearing up. What an idiot, he couldn’t even wear waterproof mascara. Dennis laughed again. He covered his mouth, trying not to look like an asshole. Dennis had totally forgotten that Mac had slept with someone last night, he was so focused on having a good day with him.

“Is this funny to you?” Trump snapped, turning his attention to Dennis. “How often does your husband fuck other guys, huh? Real stable, buddy.”

Dennis threw his head back and laughed. A real, genuine laugh. Of course Mac, the man who had been trying to force himself to be the ultra-conservative his entire life, only to come out on the closet in his forties.

The whole concept was ridiculous, really. Dennis was here with his kid, who is named after a man whose identity he stole after he died in the back alley of his bar. He’s here with his best fucking friend who may just be the love of his miserable life. His best friend, who banged a Donald Trump impersonator when he was mad at him. Of course, he probably wasn’t dressed up like a cheeto when they banged, although that would’ve been hilarious. Based off of how shocked Mac looked, he wasn’t expecting to see him here.

“Fuck you, Mac,” the Trump Impersonator spat, storming off. Brian Jr.’s eyebrows furrowed at all of commotion. Jesus, he hated when he accidentally exposed Brian Jr. to his messy life, like this. He doesn’t deserve that.

“Hey man, don’t cuss like that in front of my kid!” Dennis called after him. He giggled, turning to Mac. “Alright, ready to go?”

Mac looked absolutely defeated. “I’m so sorry, dude, I had no idea he would be here like that! He told me he was an actor, which I thought was kinda weird for South Dakota but I thought he meant he was an actor in the way that like Dee is an actor-”

Dennis rolled his eyes. “Mac, I really don’t care, honestly.” Mac stood there, fidgeting with his hands. “I know you said that earlier, but it probably sucked seeing him in public…” Dennis shrugged. “I know I’m more attractive than him, even under all that tacky makeup. I mean, if you’re gonna dress up like the guy, at least commit to a fake tan or something, instead of caking on orange foundation.”

Mac sighed. “Yeah, his costume isn’t that great. He told me he lives mostly off of tips, I guess that should’ve been my first clue.”

Dennis barked a laugh. “I would have assumed he was a stripper, if he had said that to me.”

For the first time since the Trump Impersonator had yelled at them, Dennis spied a spark of a smile on Mac’s face. “What if he is a stripper, too? Like his character as a stripper is that he’s Donald Trump. I bet that would make all the conservative women go wild,” Mac joked.

Dennis snorted. “Right, and all the weird closet cases around the midwest. It’s not gay if it’s the president, right?”

They were clearly offending some older ladies who were trying to take pictures of Mt. Rushmore, who were glaring at them. “Hey ladies, mind your business alright? Haven’t you even seen a couple of queers out in public before, making fun of the president? Grow up!” Dennis snapped, slipping his hand into Mac’s for emphasis. He felt Mac tense up again when he touched him, but their fingers laced together nonetheless. Dennis pushed down the feeling in his stomach that told him this was the greatest moment of his life.

“Let’s go babe,” Dennis said, turning his nose in the air. The trio decided to stop by the gift shop on their way out, and Dennis watched as Mac walked through the children’s section, showing the different books to Brian Jr. Mac wasn’t Brian Jr.’s dad in any way, shape, or form, but he was consistently the most concerned about his education. And Brian’s mother was a librarian, for god’s sake. Out of the corner of his eye, Dennis saw something he liked. Maybe this gift shop wasn’t as trash as he thought it was.

________________________________________

“Hey dude, wake up,” Dennis voice said, floating into Mac’s consciousness.

“Hmmm?” Mac said, without opening his eyes. He was in that weird half-awake, half-asleep state that he always ended up in during long car rides. He could feel Dennis’ hand comfortably resting on his knee. God, that was so nice. Mac didn’t miss much from his life in the closet, but the casual touches from Dennis was definitely one aspect he missed.

“Wake up, I got you a present,” Dennis said. Mac’s eyes fluttered open.

“What is it?” he asked. Mac was pretty sure Dennis had never gotten him a present in his life.

“Here,” Dennis said, reaching around the back to hand him a bag. “I got it for you at the gift shop. I wanted you to remember the trip, or whatever.”

Mac opened the bag, and almost burst into tears. Inside, was a small rainbow striped flag on a stick. Mac pulled it out, and stared at it. “You got me a pride flag?”

Dennis shrugged. “Yeah, man. I dunno, I just thought it was nice looking. Plus, you don’t really have any pride stuff, and I thought maybe you could hang it in the bar or something.”

Mac grinned. “This is amazing, thank you Dennis. I gotta get you a flag, now! Do you think they have a bisexual flag? I bet they do, I always see a ton of flags at the gay bars, but I was always too scared to ask what they all meant...I didn’t want to look like a little baby gay or something. I’ll figure it out though and get you one-”

“Baby gay?” Dennis interrupted.

“Yeah, it’s like a dude who is recently out of the closet, and doesn’t know anything about gay culture. I’m probably like, a toddler now or something,” he said proudly. He paused, thinking. “Dennis, this means a lot. Thank you.” He lifted Dennis’ hand off his leg, and pressed a kiss to the top of his hand. He held his hand in his two hands for a moment, enjoying the moment. Maybe this wasn’t a big joke to Dennis, after all. Maybe he really did care about Mac.

“Anyway, uh, there’s more in the bag.” Dennis said, glancing at the bag.

“Oh!” Mac said, looking in the bag. He frowned. It looked like a t-shirt. He unfolded the fabric, and yep, it was a t-shirt. Not only that, but it was a t-shirt with Donald fucking Trump’s face on it, with the classic “Make America Great Again,” slogan.

Dennis bit his lip, grinning. “Do you like it?”

“Oh screw you, Dennis, that’s not funny!” Mac exclaimed. He was so ashamed of (what felt like) cheating on Dennis, but it was even worse that the guy he slept with, dressed up like the president to make cash at Mt. Rushmore. Gay people hated Donald Trump! He might as well turn in his gay card now.

Dennis smiled sweetly. “I was just trying to show you that I’m not mad. Seriously.”

Mac scowled, rolling down the window to toss the t-shirt out. He couldn’t be caught dead with that. He watched the t-shirt fly out behind them, and land on the ground. That’s when Mac noticed that they definitely weren’t in the Dakotas anymore. “Uh...Dennis?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“Uh...where the hell are we?”

Dennis paused. “Illinois.”

“Excuse me?!” Mac snapped. “Where the hell do you think we’re going?” He glanced back at Brian Jr., who was calmly playing with a stuffed animal in the back seat. Dennis flexed his hands over the steering wheel.

“Dennis, where are we going?” Mac repeated.

“....Philly…?” Dennis said quietly.

“Are you goddamn kidding me? We can’t just drive to Philly!” Mac exclaimed, panic setting in. He should have never dozed off like that, of course Dennis would do something fucking insane like decide to drive to Philadelphia instead of back home to North Dakota. He looked back at Brian Jr. “We’re kidnappers!” he cried.

Dennis scoffed. “You can’t kidnap your own kid, Mac, that’s ridiculous.”

“Did you tell Mandy what you’re doing?” Dennis paused again, looking over at Mac nervously. “Uh...no. But she’s not a good mom, anyway! She calls Brian Jr. ‘BJ’. What kid wants to grow up named after fellatio?”

“Oh my god, Dennis…” Mac sighed, covering his face. He could feel the anxiety washing over him. Great, they were going to prison. There’s probably already an Amber Alert out for them. Mandy was probably freaking out at this point. They were supposed to be back sometime this evening, and the sun was setting already. Oh god, they’re going to go to prison over kidnapping Dennis’ kid.

“Listen, it’ll be fine. I sent Mandy a text that told her that I’m taking Brian Jr. back to Philly, and that she can have him back in a couple of months. I think we can do this, Mac,” Dennis said excitedly.

“Do what?!”

Dennis frowned. “Y’know. Uh, raise Brian Jr. together? Be dads? Live in the old apartment as y’know...whatever it is that this is,” Dennis said, gesturing between the pair.

“That’s not how that works, Dennis! Mandy still has custody, you can’t just take Brian Jr. and decide that you have full custody! That’s how people go to jail for kidnapping!” Mac said, rubbing his eyes. “Oh my god, dude…. “Jail?”

Dennis snorted. “You can’t kidnap your own kid," he repeated. "That’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah, dude, you can totally kidnap your own kid, especially when all you had for custody was a couple weekends a month, and a few hours during the day! What does your parenting plan say?” Dennis’ frown deepened.

“Parenting plan…?” “Do you guys have a parenting plan?” Dennis shook his head. God, of course he doesn’t. It made sense, after all, how many times did Dennis just invite Mandy to drop Brian Jr. off, these past few weeks? He never visited Dennis’ little apartment consistently, it was just whenever Dennis would offer. Oh my god, they have no fucking custody agreement, Mandy has just been kind enough to give Dennis visitation.

“Do you think Mandy is gonna call the police?” Dennis asked, his face white. “I don’t want to lose him, Mac. I can’t just not have him anymore, Mac, I can’t…” his fists tightened around the steering wheel, his knuckles white. Oh shit, he’s spiraling. Mac knew that look better than anything. Right now, Dennis was miles away in his head, imagining every possible scenario this situation could take them. Mac reached over and placed a gentle hand on the back of Dennis’ neck. He had been trying so, so, so hard to get Mac’s attention, and Mac was terrified that it was all a scheme. At this moment in time, Mac didn’t really care. He felt Dennis relax under his touch, so he gave a light squeeze.

“We’ll figure it out, Dennis. Let’s just get to Philly, and see where we go from there.”

Dennis exhaled, and nodded. “Okay. Yeah. We’ll figure it out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. follow smallhairmac.tumblr.com to watch me to decent into madness  
> 2\. I apologize to anyone who is a major Mt. Rushmore fan  
> 3\. I do not apologize to anyone who is a major Trump fan  
> 4\. More coming SOON


End file.
